Refresh Everything

Each month pepsi is giving 1.3 million in grants to people/groups/organizations that have refreshing ideas. Each idea is voted on by people like you and in the $250,000 category, the top 2 ideas receive funding. It is a very refreshing program.

Now, I need your help. Colton has been receiving vision therapy from VIPS (Visually Impaired Preschool Services) since he came home from the NICU in May 2008. VIPS has been serving children who are blind and visually impaired for 25 years in Kentucky. Ms. Dixie (his teacher/therapist from VIPS) has been a blessing to say the least. There are two offices- Louisville and Lexington. The teachers travel most of the state to provide therapy and education to the children in their homes. Louisville's office started a preschool program to provide more services for their children with visual impairments. This state of the art facility is not only used for the preschool but also provides programs for children birth to three that are visually impaired. The Lexington location, wants to do the same for their children. The problem is their current building will not house a licensed preschool. To see this dream come true to offer more programs and services to children in the Central and Eastern areas of KY they will need to move to another facility. With your help, this new facility will provide children with an enriched educational environment that will meet their needs for hands on learning and meeting their developmental milestones.

Needless to say, this would greatly benefit the visually impaired children here in our area and you can make this happen by voting for VIPS' idea. How? you ask. It's easy! You can vote once a day (from now to Dec. 30th) by visiting here AND by texting 104721 to 73774. You can vote online as well as by text everyday. We have a great opportunity to help these children be better prepared to face a world full of challenges.

Battle of the Autumn Leaves

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was in a bit of a "mommy mood" after his first day of preschool. He wouldn't let mommy out of his earshot so they spent a few hours eating cheeseburgers, reading books and playing in the leaves.
While playing in the leaves, the little boy discovered that they made a really fun crunchy noise when he stomped on them with his new boots.
After stomping and crunching for some time, he grew curious about how the leaves felt, he decided he would explore.

They felt funny in his little hands, he giggled and so did his Mommy. When he heard her laugh he decided she was too far away and crawled through the funny, crunchy leaves to get her...
It was a long journey but finally he reached out and there was her hand.
He had braved the leaves to reach his mommy. He raised his hand to the air and declared victory over the crunchy, funny things.
Then, the mommy and her little boy went inside for a snack and nap time. They lived happily ever after.

***be sure to check out the video from his first day here.

School Days

The first question I have been asked by everyone on Colton's first day of preschool... "did you cry?" NO I did not. I wasn't really sure but I didn't think I would. Like I said yesterday I am just so thrilled that he has made it this far. Three years ago he was in the NICU and they weren't sure if he would even make it through the night. Now, here he is going off to preschool. It's amazing, I am so incredibly thankful. I guess the joy trumped the tears today, I know for sure that my heart is full of it!

This morning Daddy brought out the video camera while we were heading out the door. Enjoy!

Ready as we'll ever be.

WOW! I cannot believe tomorrow my little boy will start preschool. It seems like just yesterday I was discussing the subject with his therapists, only for them to respond "oh, Crystal, preschool is so far away". You see, I like to have a plan, the plan doesn't always work out but I need to at least have one. The first step of the plan has been to get him as prepared for preschool as we (our family and his excellent team of early interventionists) possibly can. Everyone, especially Colton, has worked incredibly hard to get him to this day.

Last week, we had our last visits ever with Ms. Dixie and Ms. Suzanne, his vision and physical therapists. They have been with us for so long, we are all really going to miss both of them. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through these last three years without them.

Colton is attending a public preschool here in Frankfort. We have met with his teachers and therapists there and already feel very strongly that we made the right decision to send him to this school. Colton's eyes light up every time we mention the word "school", he is ready. Everyone has warned me that I will cry tomorrow, I don't disagree, I might but more than anything I am excited. Excited that he has made it this far, that he finally gets to do something other kids his age are doing, excited that so far the plan is working and we are on the right track.

His IEP is in place, his backpack is packed and he is tucked in bed dreaming of finger paints and activity centers. WE ARE READY!

Turkey and Birthday Cake

A Thanksgiving Birthday (in photos)

A fun day for one amazing two three year old!

THREE!

Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet little boy!

Lean not on your own understanding.

I'm home, the D&C went smoothly. It took me a really long time to wake up after the anesthesia. I'm still nauseous, dizzy, sore, sad and empty.

But... I'm healing.

I won't pretend to understand why this happened but I do believe there is a reason. I've said before that I feel life begins at conception and with life comes death and with death comes heaven. I believe with all my heart that there is one new sweet little angel up there today that was simply too precious for this earth.

Proverbs 3:5-6

blank.

Nothing good to share today. D&C scheduled for Friday.

Thank you for the prayers.

Monkeying Around

Happy Halloween!

Hanging in there...

I have finally gained enough strength to write this quick update, it will be short and to the point, I can't handle much more.

I went the Doc Monday afternoon for an ultrasound at 6 weeks (according to measurements) and they saw a larger gestational sac with Sweet Pea inside. The sac and baby/fetal pole were both abnormally shaped and they could find no heartbeat. I was told to wait to miscarry, it should happen in 7-10 days. So far, I have not. It is extremely painful to carry around this baby inside of me that is not living. It's heartbreaking. There is about a 2% chance they could find a heartbeat at my next ultrasound (10-1-10) but they seemed pretty sure (and I feel) that isn't going to happen. On Monday, we will discuss further options (D&C).

I am angry and so hurt but trying to be strong. My friends and family are wonderful, I am so thankful for them and of course Colton is amazing as always and helps me remember that I should focus on everything I do have in this life and not dwell on what I do not.

Cravings Checklist

My cravings so far.

Grease (like on the wrapper of a McDs cheeseburger...)
Onions, lots of onions
Ketchup (I've always hated it before)
French Fries (to go with the ketchup of course)
Orange Juice (this one comes and goes)
Lettuce

Only one turn off food as of today.
Chicken

What did you crave or not crave?

June Bug

I haven't updated you all in almost a week for two reasons. 1. My computer was at the Apple Store being fixed (yay!) and 2. there just wasn't much to tell... until yesterday. I had an appointment with the baby doc (we'll call him/her Dr. D for confidentiality purposes) to get some more blood work and an ultrasound. At first, during the ultrasound Dr. D looked concerned causing me to almost have a heart attack but then she started asking questions about how sure I was on my dates. On the ultrasound, she only saw a gestational sac. We were expecting to see a little more but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. We have two options. First, that I am just really off on my dates and I ovulate at a weird time and baby is just fine only a lot smaller/younger than we originally thought. The grim option is that this pregnancy wasn't good from the beginning and the baby stopped developing leaving only the gestational sac to be seen. Both the ultrasound tech AND Dr. D were very confident that option A is what we are dealing with, especially when my hCG levels came back at just under 20,000 (recap: 10/1=922, 10/4=3,334). Option B is still in the back of our heads though, we are praying for a positive outcome. I also am now allowed to do more activities, just can't lift/pull/push anything over 10 pounds, including my Colton =( , or walk really long distances but I am no longer stuck on the couch 24/7!!!

So, (considering option A is correct) Sweet Pea will be a June baby instead of May, I'm fine with that as long as he/she is healthy.

Daddy Time

Somebody has really been enjoying all the extra time he has gotten to spend with Daddy while Mommy has been on "restricted activity". Their favorite thing to do together? Play playstation of course.

Cautiously Optimistic

HCG levels were tested this morning (bringing my total number of needle sticks in the last two days to a grand total of five). We waited for about an hour in the waiting room, my nerves were a mess, Seth was just sleepy (he worked 11-7 last night) then finally got to head back to see the Doc. She seemed a little concerned with my "complications" and after an exam sent me across to the hospital for more blood work. Then we had to wait...

Luckily, she knew I was a mess and decided to call as soon she got the news. The first words out of her mouth were "I am very excited about your test results". Shew, my heart began to beat again. Not only did my levels double, they tripled in the last 48 hours. Anything could still happen but for now we are heading in the right direction. I am to remain cautiously optimistic. I am also to remain on "restricted activity". I can go to class (be dropped off and picked up) and do homework but that is about it. I have an ultrasound in two weeks and the next step is to see Sweet Pea's heartbeat.

Thank you all for your prayers... they are pretty powerful.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I will find out much more about my pregnancy. They will do the second round of blood work to determine if my HCG levels have increased or not. If they have then we will assume, for the time being, that this pregnancy is going to continue. If not, we may lose the baby.

To say I am scared is an extreme understatement. I have already fallen in love with this baby. In my opinion life begins at conception, I already have a precious little life growing inside of me.

My emotions are all over the place, my heart is remaining where it belongs, with God.

Our faith is strong and our prayers are even stronger.

BIG NEWS part 2

As you can tell in my last post, Seth, Colton and I are very excited to be adding to our little family. We actually decided to start trying to have a child about three months ago but decided to take a break in August due to me returning to school and Seth working on new job prospects. Well, of course, God has his own plans and decided to bless us with "Sweet Pea" when we were least expecting it.

We are soooo thrilled at the prospect of becoming parents again and Colton gets very excited when we say "You are going to be a BIIIIG BROTHER!" (even if he doesn't really know what it means just yet). However, we are also very nervous and cautious at the same time. Due to Colton's early birth I am considered "high risk" which just means they will take extra precautions with this pregnancy. In fact, they already are. I am currently on "restricted activity" because of some complications that landed me in the Emergency Room late last night. Everything is fine for now, I return to the doctor Monday morning for some more tests and an exam. In the meantime, I am ordered to "spend the weekend laying on the couch watching movies", and take it easy. That is exactly what I am doing, the only complaint I have is the fact that I'm not allowed to lift Colton, he doesn't like this at all but its for the best so I will follow doc's orders.

Now for some logistics, Sweet Pea (the name my sister came up with for him/her, speaking of which today is her 21st Birthday ***HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT BOO***) is due sometime in late May/Early June 2011. I am only about five weeks along. We wanted to wait until at least eight weeks to make the big announcement but I am impatient and too excited to keep this to myself so it just kind of "slipped out" in the form of a certain "Big Brother" tee shirt. I am experiencing a few symptoms including fatigue, tenderness in certain areas, cravings (oddly Grease and Potatoes) and headaches. Not to mention, I have a very nasty cold that will not go away.

There are a lot of concerns and risks this early but we are deciding to remain optimistic and trust in the Lord with all our hearts that his plan is superior to our own. I am already in love with this little life growing inside of me, being a mother is what I was put on this earth to do and I am rejoicing in the fact that I have be given the chance to do so again.

Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes and congratulations, it means a lot to us, all FOUR of us! =)

BIG NEWS from Colton

Untitled

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Nothing more. I need comfort right now and thought maybe someone out there does too.

Falling in love with FALL!

When I was a child summer was my favorite time of year, as I got older (and more warm-blooded) the new flowers of Spring always struck my fancy. I would still consider spring my favorite season but the beauty of Autumn has been pulling me in more and more as a 20-something year old. The colors, the smells, the food, the weather, it is all so wonderful.

And then when you include the fun and excitement of Halloween, you have tons of my favorite things wrapped up in the magic of fall.

Last Halloween, we got tons of questions about Colton's dragon costume, mainly "Where did you get it?" The answer: One Step Ahead. This website sends us a catalog monthly and they have some amazing toys and some of the cutest costumes for children that I have EVER seen.

I have a few favorites for this years costume...

The Spider

The Monkey

and the Lil Monster

They are all so cute, it is just so hard to choose. What's your favorite?

Changes

We have had Colton's first preschool meeting (there are a few left) and are in the process of touring schools and getting evaluations completed. Can you believe in TWO months he will be THREE, I sure can't believe it. We are choosing between two local schools right now. One has a smaller class size (think 9 students) while the other is closer to home. There are pros and cons at both schools but Seth and I are just trying to make the right choice for our little boy. Tomorrow we tour the second school and have to make our decision very soon after. We are making lists, researching and praying about it a lot, his education is extremely important to us, especially with all the challenges he faces now and will face throughout his school career. A lot of people keep telling me "it's just preschool" but to me it is sooo much more. This year will set the tone for his entire education, yes things can change (get better or worse) but he is very at risk for falling very behind and we need to make sure the people responsible for teaching him are capable of helping him to transition into a classroom of same-age peers. Luckily, he will have three years to do this. His birthday is in November, preschool here starts at the age of three. The year after you turn five you enter kindergarten. So, he will turn five in November 2012 and get to stay in preschool that whole school year, starting K in fall 2013. His birthday works to his advantage in this case (unlike when he was born).

At three we face another big change also, he will lose the three therapists (OT, PT and Vision) that he has had since he came home from the hospital. They work for the state's intervention program that ends at the age of three (because preschool starts then). He will still get these services at school and will also be visiting the local rehab center but we will all miss his therapists soooo much. They are amazing (an even better word than amazing that I can't think of right now, it's late) and are the main reason he has made it as far as he has in this journey. Not only have they helped Colton but us also. When you find out your child has special needs (and aren't familiar with this "whole new world" already) you feel so lost and confused. These women have made me a better parent to Colton, helping me to navigate and master these unfamiliar roads. I will always be thankful for everything they have done. Like I said, we will ALL really, really miss them.

So tomorrow we make a decision, a decision that, in my opinion, will impact the rest of our child's life. Wish us luck.

Let's Get Together

Our Annual Family Reunion

Random Happenings

Obviously I have taken the last couple weeks off as a blogger, just to get back into the swing of things with school and all that jazz. I intended to start writing again at the beginning of this week but plans changed thanks to the fact that all three of us Darnell's were sick with sinus & ear infections as well as nasty colds. Unfortunately, Colton is still fighting off his germs but Seth and I are 95% back to normal.

While I was absent we have been crazy busy with reunions and birthdays and homework and FOOTBALL GAMES! More on all that very soon.In the meantime I hope you'll be satisfied with some picture of one happy little boy.

Back To School

Well, it's here.

Today I begin (again) finishing my degree in Elementary Education, my first class of the semester is this afternoon.

I am certainly going to miss seeing this cutie patootie all day, every day.

My Green Monster

I have a monster. No, not a monster in my closet but a monster none the less. My monster is green and big and hairy and ugly. My monster has a name, its name is jealousy. I'm not jealous of the things other people have, I am jealous of the things other people (mainly other people's children) can do. To admit this to you all makes me so ashamed and embarrassed, I want to stop typing, I want to turn of my laptop, pull up my cover and drift slowly to sleep. But, I CAN'T. This monster has been haunting me so badly for so long and it is very important for me to be honest and not keep this monster locked inside.

Most of you know Colton's story, he is my miracle boy. Being born at 23 weeks, 6 days is not an easy thing to do for anyone, especially a one pound fragile newborn. Because of his early birth he developed brain bleeds that eventually led to brain surgery and brain damage, this is the primary cause of his CP. Not only does his development suffer neurologically, he is also 95% blind, another disability stemming from his premature birth. Needless to say, Colton is significantly behind his peers developmentally. I knew this would be the case from the beginning, everyday people would remind me that he was born four months early and that he would be 4-6 months behind other babies born the same time as him. I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for is the fact that now, at almost three years old he would not be even close to "caught up". If I had a dollar for all the times I've heard "remember, every preemie develops at his/her own pace" I would... well, I'm not sure what I would do but I would be a very rich person. I know this already but it doesn't take the sting away when you watch a baby two years younger than your child walking around without a care in the world while my little man is stuck crawling around on the floor. I've watched the children of my friends, family and even strangers develop at what seems like breakneck speeds, they are all passing us by. My green monster grows a little more each day, I feel like one day I might just explode.

I've talked a lot about "I" in this post. Yes, selfishly, I am jealous for myself. I want to be able to watch my son take his first steps someday, hear him ask me a question or just be able to communicate with his peers. I want all this for me, yes, but I want it for him 1000 times more. We head to the hospital at least once a month to visit various specialists and as soon as I take a seat in the waiting rooms Colton is wiggling trying to get down and play. Hospitals are germy, I can't imagine letting him crawl around on those floors but I see other kids smaller than him walking around freely and it makes my heart hurt. He would be so much happier walking, I know he would. I want this for him, my green monster grows even more when I think of all the things he would love to do but can't. I'm sure that two months from now, when he starts preschool, he would be so proud to walk across that threshold into the classroom that he will spend the next three years, I used to be sure that would happen, now not so much. He tries so hard but he has so many things working against him, it's so hard to watch and so horribly unfair.

I usually try to put a positive spin on all my posts but I just can't today. My heart hurts too bad. I'm sad and scared and angry and extremely jealous. I'm ashamed of my green monster but I just can't seem to shake him. At least now I am one step closer to setting him free.

10 Things You Really Need to Know about Baby Sign Language

We have used sign language with Colton for over a year now, it has really helped give him a way to communicate with us despite his speech delay. So, when Misty over at babysignlanguage.com asked to publish a guest post on my blog, I accepted immediately. Enjoy her list of 10 things you really should know about baby sign language.

1.Every baby can do this. Yes, every baby will learn at a different speed. Some babies will like to sign – others will not get terribly fired up about it. But all babies can do this.

2. All parents can do this. You do not need to be fluent in American Sign Language. You do not need to be a teacher. You do not need to be a patient saint. You can mess up daily and it will still be worth your while. You can do this, I promise.

3. Some elderly lady will come up to you in church and tell you that you are delaying your baby’s speech by signing with her. Just nod, smile and say okay, thank you. Then quickly walk away. You are NOT delaying anything. Multiple studies show that babies who learn to sign learn to speak SOONER than babies who don’t sign. When they do learn to talk, toddlers who have grown up signing have bigger vocabularies and utilize longer sentences. You are helping your baby learn to speak, not hindering her, no matter what well-meaning little old ladies say.

4. Babies and toddlers who know how to sign show less frustration behaviors such as screaming, crying, and biting. (What’s the sign for hooray?)

5. Studies show that children who grow up signing have a higher reading level.

6. Learning American Sign Language is learning a life skill. Your child will have a foundation to speak and understand a second language.

7. It is never too late to start. Many moms start signing when their babies are 18 months old, or even older. Some moms start signing because their child’s speech is deemed “delayed” by the medical establishment. If you have an interest, then don’t think your baby is “too old.”

8. Signing improves self-esteem. Learning to sign and being praised for signing will build your child’s confidence. By teaching her to sign, you are showing her that you care what she thinks, how she feels, and what she has to say. All of this will make her feel better about herself!

9. I hate to even include this in my list, but it could be valuable information, so … some daycares are now requiring that babies know how to sign. They might not advertise this, but when you are battling for a spot in a popular daycare, signing babies stand a better chance of landing the gig. Also – and here’s the part that makes me sound like an infomercial – Baby Sign Language looks good on a pre-school application. I know, it’s ridiculous, but true. Educators know that those children who sign do better in school and are easier to teach. Please don’t think that I’m telling you that if your 20-month-old isn’t signing that he is doomed to failure. That would be ridiculous and I am not suggesting that. But it is true that there are social advantages to signing.

10. Have fun. Please, please, please, don’t make this another stressful thing you tack on to stressful parenting. Signing with your baby is supposed to be fun, and it will not work for either of you if it feels like a chore. Don’t put any pressure on yourself or your baby and just view it as a way to play and bond with your baby. You already talk to her, you already read to her, you already feed her. Baby Sign Language is not about stopwatches, charts and drills. It’s about incorporating a simple, gentle method of communicating into your daily lives. You can choose how much, how fast, and how to do it. Just make sure you’re doing it with a smile, or it’s just not worth it.

Rockstar

I've always known he was something special.



He's my little rockstar!

Confessions of a Mother & Wife

I confess that early this morning I got a speeding ticket for going 52 in a 35, right after a black cat ran across the road in front of my car on Friday the 13th.

I confess that until last night I hadn't folded our clean laundry in like two weeks.

I confess that I can't go to bed unless the bed is made and I even make it right before I get in if for some reason I didn't get to it earlier in the day.

I confess that I am the clumsiest person I know.

I confess that I've gained 10 pounds in the last few weeks, I need more willpower.

I confess that I check on my son at least 10 times a night, still.

I confess that I should be cleaning right now.

I confess that I have an unnatural fear of peanuts.

I confess that I love my life as a mother and wife!

Any confessions you wish to share?

Lashed Out

Some days, okay everyday, I imagine that I have his eyelashes. Then, I look in the mirror, shake my head and dab on a couple extra coats of mascara.
Aren't they just gorgeous?

Best Friends

With Colton starting preschool in November, I'm sure he will acquire tons of wonderful little friends. Until then however, he is perfectly content with these guys.
Meet Scout and Tigger.
They are the best friends that a boy could ever have.
These dudes make bed time look cool.Of course Mama is a pretty good substitute best friend when Scout and Tigger aren't around, not trying to toot my own horn or anything *wink*.
And yes those are bruises on our sweet little man's head, any tips from parents of other visually impaired children on how to keep my adventurous two year old from slamming HEAD FIRST into EVERYTHING are welcome and greatly appreciated. Thanks!

The Love of Money

Today was a decent day, we all slept in then got up and headed out of the house to run some errands. Before we left, the hubs asked me to check the balance of our bank account. Well, apparently, I spent a little too much money the last time I went to the grocery store and we got in a little argument. Not a big argument, just a tiny one really but an argument none the less. Money is such a big issue these days and it seems like just about every couple we know has some kind of issue with money going on. Some are fighting to get debt free, some are barely making ends meet, some owe more than they are paid, but everywhere you look finances are causing trouble.

After we had duked it out, the hubs and I made up and went on about our day. No matter how angry we get at one another it never lasts for very long, I am extremely thankful for that. But, this little tiff got me thinking, most of the time our disagreements do that. Why do we let money control us so and effect our lives as much as it does. I know we need food and shelter, the basic essentials but all the other things really don't matter. The bible says it best; 1 Timothy 6:10 teaches us the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. The bible is interpreted in many different ways but when I read this verse I understand it to mean that "loving" money is trouble and can distract us from all the wonderful and beautiful things in life. Wonderful things like the love that I share with my husband and the amazing things we have been blessed with. So often I find myself "wanting" but the truth is I have everything I could ever need. I am making it my goal to remind myself everyday how lucky I am and how amazing my life really is. Praise God!

Look Who's Talking

Colton has been working really hard with a speech therapist for most of his life. He picked up on sign language pretty early and now has about 10 words that he can sign on a daily basis. Although we are very pleased with his ability to learn signs so quickly it has been a blessing to listen to the new verbal words he has started saying the last couple weeks. He starts preschool in November and my hope was that he would be somewhat verbal and mobile, as you can see in this video, we are on the right track. Go Colton!

#HomeHer10 Swag

Those of us attending #HomeHer10 are super busy attending sessions and parties this weekend so we need to make sure we look good on the go. We've got lots to do, so what better swag than a cute hard-case wallet to do it with. A place to store all your credit cards (for those crazy shopping trips), IDs (to get into all the hottest parties), and business cards to keep up with all the amazing people you meet at #HomeHer10.

This #HomeHer10 Swag is sponsored by Thirty-One Gifts with Crystal and Debbie. Not sure what #HomeHer10 is... well, check out @BackpackingDad's blog post here or just follow the hashtag on twitter.

***TO ENTER***
Visit our Thirty-One Gifts website (linked above) and browse the Fall '10 Catalog, let me know in a comment your favorite item! (1 entry) You must do this first!!!

Follow me @CrystalDarnell on Twitter and comment letting me know you did so (1 entry)

"Like" our Facebook page and comment letting me know you did so (1 entry)

Follow this blog and (you guessed it) leave a comment letting me know you did so (1 entry)

Contest will close Sunday night (August 8th) at 10 p.m. EST!

Giggle

Remember that laugh I said could ALWAYS cheer me up? Well, here it is, the most amazing sound in the entire world.



I bet he put a smile on your face too!

What's Not to Love?

Things I love about this handsome little boy.


I love that he is a good eater, as if you couldn't tell.

I love that he is a fighter, has been from the very beginning.

I love that no matter how bad of day I am having, he can always bring a smile to my face.

I love that he flashes a grin when he gets something he wants, he knows he has us all wrapped right around that itty bitty pinky finger.

I love that he plugs his fingers in his ears when he is taking a dump. I guess this helps equalize the pressure...?

I love his scars, they remind me of how far he has come.

I love his laugh, how could you not?

I love the look of determination he gets when he is trying to learn something new, he never gives up.

I love our cuddle time, it's the best part of my day.

Honestly, I love everything about my little man. So sweet it is to be the mother of such a remarkable work of God.

Questions

I have so many questions, most which will not be answered for a long time, some may never be answered.

Questions like...

Why did my son have to be born at 23 weeks and spend the first six months of his life in the hospital?

Why did ROP have to destroy his retinas to the point of blindness? Why does he never get to see the beauty of a rose or the color of the sky?

Will he ever have a girlfriend or even a date? Will he ever get married and enjoy the pure happiness of being a parent?

Will he ever talk?

Will he ever walk?

Why us? Why HIM?

These questions, along with so many more, haunt me everyday and everyday I have to remind myself that today he is happy and alive and healthy and for today that is all that matters.

Where did summer go?

Ahhh! It's already August and my last post was in... MAY! I have been a major, major slacker this summer but I have had a lot of fun with everything that's been keeping me busy and away from blogging. However, the last couple weeks, I keep hearing this little voice in my head saying "write a post, it'll do some good." So "little voice" I am listening, because as time consuming as this blog can be (when I'm actually posting on a regular basis) it is also VERY therapeutic.

I would like to apologize to everyone who keeps up with Colton via my blog, those of you who do not have or haven't found me yet on facebook are probably wondering what the little guy has been up to lately... well... LOTS! Therapies, fairs, horseback riding and sooo much more. We have been super busy. One big thing we have been working on... walking! I've shared this video on facebook but its about time it appears on my blog.



Will it be another two months before I post again? I'm not making any promises, but my bets on N-O.

Miracles Happen!

Miracles Happen! was our 2010 March for Babies - Team Colton theme. I am very proud to say that we raised over $1600 (double our goal) during our second year participating in the March for Babies. Thank you to everyone who helped, donated and joined us at the walk... you guys are amazing, I say that all the time but it really is true.. we have the greatest friends and family.
45 people joined us this year at the annual event (a few missed the team picture).
The kids/babies had a blast and spent the day being absolutely adorable.
The "big kids" had fun too.
Then we marched......and marched......and marched.It was a beautiful day for a beautiful cause.

Thank you for all your help.
Love Always,
The Darnells