I can leave the house without completely freaking out now, I even started working again as a substitute teacher. I didn't get to go back to school last fall like I wanted, due to money issues, but will hopefully return sometime in 2010. I feel more "normal" than I have felt in years. I'm still scared of everything that I wrote about when confessing my secret to the world but with consistent medication, talking it out with others and lots and lots of prayer, I am slowly getting better and stronger.
I have my son to thank for a lot of my progress. Whenever I start feeling scared or anxious, I just look down at him and remember all he has been through. He has fought so hard to overcome every single obstacle that he has been faced with, surely I can beat a few chemical imbalances in my not-so-stable brain. He wakes up with a big smile on his face every day when he could be timid and scared. He wakes up ready to live each day to the fullest.
It is usually the parent who helps the child realize that the big scary monster isn't really all that bad after all... obviously in our case it's the other way around.
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