Just Call Me Mommy!

How we found out...

2011-11-06T10:00:00.001-05:00

In June of this year I had to go to the doctor for some annual blood work due to a medication that I am on. Seth and Colton went with me, we thought it would be a quick and uneventful visit. They waited in the waiting room while I walked back with the nurse. She took my blood pressure and temperature. Then, finally took some blood and requested a urine sample. About five minutes later the Doc came in and said these exact words. "Welp, you're pregnant". ...WHAT!?!?!?!?... After the miscarriage, Seth and I had decided to wait until after I graduated to have another little blessing. He was in the process of starting a new job and after a quick calculation I realized this baby would be due right in the middle of student teaching. The doc finished up while I sat there dumbfounded. I was so worried, worried about the timing, worried this pregnancy would end up in another miscarriage, worried what Seth was going to think. The nurse came in to give me some paperwork and a little plastic bag containing a white stick with two clearly pink lines. I opened the door to the waiting room, saw my adorable son and husband playing, I stood there for a moment, then the tears came streaming down my face. Seth saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. My only possible response was to hand him the plastic bag. So I did. Seconds later, through the sobs, I managed to blurt out a wimpy "I'm pregnant". I waited patiently for his response. The words I heard next took a huge weight off my shoulder, Seth always has a way of making me realize that everything is going to be okay. He smiled "Well, what are you crying for?" and gave me a big bear hug.

On the ride home we went into planning mode. By my timeline I was about 5 weeks along, we decided not to tell anyone until closer to 10. With my high risk status I had been told to call the baby doc as soon as I found out about any pregnancy. I did so and got an appointment for later that week. We discussed possibilities and explained to Colton that he was going to have a little sibling. By the time we reached the driveway I was feeling tons better, everything was going to be okay, we knew it.

Surprise!

2011-11-05T13:14:00.004-04:00

If you follow my facebook account then this announcement is not such a big deal but if not, guess what... Colton is going to be a big brother.

I am 24 weeks and one day. I'm not quite sure why I've waited so long to blog about this miracle growing inside of me. I think I was just a little superstitious that me blogging about it might jinx us. If you remember, Colton was born at 23 weeks, 6 days. We have officially made it past that point and I am overflowing with thankfulness. More on what we (my doctors and I) have done to keep this little one cooking at least a little longer than his brother soon. It has certainly been an interesting several months.

Introducing...
Sawyer James Darnell
Due: February 24, 2012

Your Day

2011-05-31T12:57:00.004-04:00

A letter to my sweet pea:

Today is your day, darling child, the day you were to be born. During the ten short weeks you were with me, I often imagined you being carried to me wrapped in a plush blanket of pink or blue, then safe and cozy in my arms. I imagined your first cry, your first smile, your first step, your first day of school and many more memories we will never have the chance to make. I imagined you playing with your big brother, I know he would have loved you with all his heart.

I never got to hear your heartbeat or feel your fluttery movements but the love and excitement I felt for you was blissful and sweet, however brief. Today is the day I beg God to give you back, the day I lay in bed and cry for a life that never was. The day I see other mothers with adorable babies or large bellies and wonder "why?".

I know you are in a much better place, my sweet angel, but today is the day I selfishly want you here with me. I never got to kiss your precious face but I know one day you will greet me at Heaven's gates with a smile and long embrace.

I'll love you always Sweet Pea,
Your Mommy

Moments

2011-05-26T17:18:00.001-04:00

Today was one of those moments that I know I will treasure forever. Colton graduated from his first year of preschool and walked to his seat with his walker and a little assistance from one of his teachers. This is the farthest I have seen him walk since getting sick this winter. The whole cafeteria was still and you could just feel everyone rooting him on silently. It was a moment that I cannot describe in words but luckily Daddy had the camera handy.

Wordless Wednesday: A video from Easter

2011-05-25T13:02:00.007-04:00

Considering I didn't really have a chance to blog much this year, I decided to share a video from Easter in late April. Here is Colton (and Mommy) checking out the goodies the Easter bunny brought.

Random Ramblings

2011-05-24T14:50:00.004-04:00

Took Colton to the Pediatrician today, turns out he needs to visit the allergy doctor. I never had allergies as a child but Seth had them bad. We go June 10th and I have a feeling it won't be a very fun visit.

*Praxis Update*
Every teacher (at least in Kentucky) has to take and pass an exam towards the end of their undergraduate college career. I took this test on April 30th and was very scared that I wasn't going to pass. Well, today I got my scores... A passing score is 148, I received a 174! I was so excited when I opened up the PDF document and saw that. Interestingly enough, my highest score was in the math section, lowest was social studies and my science/language arts were the middle. If you can't tell I am extremely glad that I passed and now only a simple piece of paper stands between me and my own classroom. I can't wait.

Last thought for this post, The Rapture predictor guy is crazy, that is all.

Update

2011-05-23T13:41:00.005-04:00

It's been awhile... a long while. I went back to school for the semester in January and haven't had time to post since. However, now I am on summer break and missing the twitter and blogging world so I'm jumping back in head first.

As most of you know Colton was very sick for several months this winter. We finally had to take him to the ER at UK Hospital, they admitted him to figure out what was wrong. They discovered that he was having a reaction to his CP medication and took him off of it immediately. It was a behavioral reaction so it was very hard to figure out, we had taken him to at least four different doctors and none of them knew what was wrong. The meds were causing him to go into fits of delirium, he was miserable. He has been placed on a new medicine that helps his legs to not be so tight and so far we have seen no ill side effects.

School, for both Colton and me, is going well. I made the Dean's List each semester this year and have a scheduled graduation date of May 2012, only one more semester of classing considering I student teach that Spring. I literally cannot wait. Little Mr. Darnell LOVES school and is doing very well. His teachers are amazing and have helped him progress outrageous amounts this year. He will "graduate" from P3 and into P4 this week. He spends his afternoons with Ms. Monica, our Nanny, they are great together and she has helped him reach many goals in just the short time she has been with us.

I'm sure there are several other things I should update you all on but they will come to me later and I will try very hard to post them. Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely weather.

SNOW!

2011-01-13T14:44:00.011-05:00

We've had lots of snow in Kentucky this winter. Colton really loves the white stuff but he has been too sick to go outside and play in it. His favorite thing is going sledding! He went back to school today and guess what they are learning about? You guessed it, snow!

After a meeting at the hospital to help start a local NICU support group (more on that later) I came to Nana and Pop's house to do craft time with Colton. We decided to make today an indoor snow day.

We played in the snow.

Tasted (that part wasn't planned) and talked about the snow. Colton can say "snow" and "cold".

Read about the snow.

And even made a snowflake picture.
Snow is fun and pretty but I'm pretty sure we aren't the only ones looking forward to Spring!

A (singular) Picture

2011-01-07T19:56:00.002-05:00

One of the only photos of Colton on Christmas. Most of the day he was sleeping or fussing because he felt so terrible. Check out his super-duper cool Mickey Mouse Jamas from Nana!

Christmas and New Years in a Nutshell

2011-01-06T21:22:00.004-05:00

Colton has been sick the WHOLE month of December and so far in January... Ear Infection, Croup and now some type of Respiratory illness. He has been miserable. We have been to the hospital for blood work twice, admitted once for dehydration and I've lost count of our trips to the Pediatrician. They have tested him for flu, RSV and strep, all were negative. At one point he was so sick that we had to restrain him to keep him from punching himself in the face (like hard, with blood). It's been so rough on him and sometimes he grabs my neck, squeezes me and says "Mama" in his hoarse little voice. I can tell he wants me to make him feel better but I can do nothing to make him feel better. It is the most frustrating thing in the world.

Right before all this started we went to Michigan to see Dr. Trese (Colton's Retina Specialist). They did an exam under anesthesia and determined that his retinas were still attached (good news) but there had been no improvement (bummer). I have completely accepted 100% that my son is blind... it is so weird to say that so bluntly. I usually say visually impaired or "he can't see very well" but I am finally comfortable with using the B word. Today at the Pediatrician I saw a little boy admiring the fish that were on the waiting room wall paper, I had a moment of sadness thinking about simple things like that that my son will never do. I took a deep breath, looked down at my little man and smiled. He is amazing and smart and happy and my little miracle. There are so many things he will be able to do!

One thing he has been doing (and LOVING) is going to school. He has been on Christmas break and every time we say something about his teachers or classmates his eyes light up, he will go back to school next week as long as we get all this sickness straightened out.

So that is just a little update on us Darnells. 2011 is going to be a great year, I just know it.

Refresh Everything

2010-12-03T22:55:00.002-05:00

Each month pepsi is giving 1.3 million in grants to people/groups/organizations that have refreshing ideas. Each idea is voted on by people like you and in the $250,000 category, the top 2 ideas receive funding. It is a very refreshing program.

Now, I need your help. Colton has been receiving vision therapy from VIPS (Visually Impaired Preschool Services) since he came home from the NICU in May 2008. VIPS has been serving children who are blind and visually impaired for 25 years in Kentucky. Ms. Dixie (his teacher/therapist from VIPS) has been a blessing to say the least. There are two offices- Louisville and Lexington. The teachers travel most of the state to provide therapy and education to the children in their homes. Louisville's office started a preschool program to provide more services for their children with visual impairments. This state of the art facility is not only used for the preschool but also provides programs for children birth to three that are visually impaired. The Lexington location, wants to do the same for their children. The problem is their current building will not house a licensed preschool. To see this dream come true to offer more programs and services to children in the Central and Eastern areas of KY they will need to move to another facility. With your help, this new facility will provide children with an enriched educational environment that will meet their needs for hands on learning and meeting their developmental milestones.

Needless to say, this would greatly benefit the visually impaired children here in our area and you can make this happen by voting for VIPS' idea. How? you ask. It's easy! You can vote once a day (from now to Dec. 30th) by visiting here AND by texting 104721 to 73774. You can vote online as well as by text everyday. We have a great opportunity to help these children be better prepared to face a world full of challenges.

Battle of the Autumn Leaves

2010-11-30T08:42:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was in a bit of a "mommy mood" after his first day of preschool. He wouldn't let mommy out of his earshot so they spent a few hours eating cheeseburgers, reading books and playing in the leaves.
While playing in the leaves, the little boy discovered that they made a really fun crunchy noise when he stomped on them with his new boots.
After stomping and crunching for some time, he grew curious about how the leaves felt, he decided he would explore.

They felt funny in his little hands, he giggled and so did his Mommy. When he heard her laugh he decided she was too far away and crawled through the funny, crunchy leaves to get her...
It was a long journey but finally he reached out and there was her hand.
He had braved the leaves to reach his mommy. He raised his hand to the air and declared victory over the crunchy, funny things.
Then, the mommy and her little boy went inside for a snack and nap time. They lived happily ever after.

***be sure to check out the video from his first day here.

School Days

2010-11-29T15:07:00.004-05:00

The first question I have been asked by everyone on Colton's first day of preschool... "did you cry?" NO I did not. I wasn't really sure but I didn't think I would. Like I said yesterday I am just so thrilled that he has made it this far. Three years ago he was in the NICU and they weren't sure if he would even make it through the night. Now, here he is going off to preschool. It's amazing, I am so incredibly thankful. I guess the joy trumped the tears today, I know for sure that my heart is full of it!

This morning Daddy brought out the video camera while we were heading out the door. Enjoy!

Ready as we'll ever be.

2010-11-28T19:38:00.002-05:00

WOW! I cannot believe tomorrow my little boy will start preschool. It seems like just yesterday I was discussing the subject with his therapists, only for them to respond "oh, Crystal, preschool is so far away". You see, I like to have a plan, the plan doesn't always work out but I need to at least have one. The first step of the plan has been to get him as prepared for preschool as we (our family and his excellent team of early interventionists) possibly can. Everyone, especially Colton, has worked incredibly hard to get him to this day.

Last week, we had our last visits ever with Ms. Dixie and Ms. Suzanne, his vision and physical therapists. They have been with us for so long, we are all really going to miss both of them. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through these last three years without them.

Colton is attending a public preschool here in Frankfort. We have met with his teachers and therapists there and already feel very strongly that we made the right decision to send him to this school. Colton's eyes light up every time we mention the word "school", he is ready. Everyone has warned me that I will cry tomorrow, I don't disagree, I might but more than anything I am excited. Excited that he has made it this far, that he finally gets to do something other kids his age are doing, excited that so far the plan is working and we are on the right track.

His IEP is in place, his backpack is packed and he is tucked in bed dreaming of finger paints and activity centers. WE ARE READY!

Turkey and Birthday Cake

2010-11-26T15:08:00.018-05:00

A Thanksgiving Birthday (in photos)

A fun day for one amazing ~~two~~ three year old!

THREE!

2010-11-25T06:44:00.003-05:00

Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet little boy!

Lean not on your own understanding.

2010-11-05T15:28:00.005-04:00

I'm home, the D&C went smoothly. It took me a really long time to wake up after the anesthesia. I'm still nauseous, dizzy, sore, sad and empty.

But... I'm healing.

I won't pretend to understand why this happened but I do believe there is a reason. I've said before that I feel life begins at conception and with life comes death and with death comes heaven. I believe with all my heart that there is one new sweet little angel up there today that was simply too precious for this earth.

Proverbs 3:5-6

blank.

2010-11-01T15:24:00.001-04:00

Nothing good to share today. D&C scheduled for Friday.

Thank you for the prayers.

Monkeying Around

2010-10-31T19:49:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Hanging in there...

2010-10-30T22:48:00.002-04:00

I have finally gained enough strength to write this quick update, it will be short and to the point, I can't handle much more.

I went the Doc Monday afternoon for an ultrasound at 6 weeks (according to measurements) and they saw a larger gestational sac with Sweet Pea inside. The sac and baby/fetal pole were both abnormally shaped and they could find no heartbeat. I was told to wait to miscarry, it should happen in 7-10 days. So far, I have not. It is extremely painful to carry around this baby inside of me that is not living. It's heartbreaking. There is about a 2% chance they could find a heartbeat at my next ultrasound (10-1-10) but they seemed pretty sure (and I feel) that isn't going to happen. On Monday, we will discuss further options (D&C).

I am angry and so hurt but trying to be strong. My friends and family are wonderful, I am so thankful for them and of course Colton is amazing as always and helps me remember that I should focus on everything I do have in this life and not dwell on what I do not.

Cravings Checklist

2010-10-16T12:28:00.004-04:00

My cravings so far.

Grease (like on the wrapper of a McDs cheeseburger...)
Onions, lots of onions
Ketchup (I've always hated it before)
French Fries (to go with the ketchup of course)
Orange Juice (this one comes and goes)
Lettuce

Only one turn off food as of today.
Chicken

What did you crave or not crave?

June Bug

2010-10-12T12:32:00.002-04:00

I haven't updated you all in almost a week for two reasons. 1. My computer was at the Apple Store being fixed (yay!) and 2. there just wasn't much to tell... until yesterday. I had an appointment with the baby doc (we'll call him/her Dr. D for confidentiality purposes) to get some more blood work and an ultrasound. At first, during the ultrasound Dr. D looked concerned causing me to almost have a heart attack but then she started asking questions about how sure I was on my dates. On the ultrasound, she only saw a gestational sac. We were expecting to see a little more but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. We have two options. First, that I am just really off on my dates and I ovulate at a weird time and baby is just fine only a lot smaller/younger than we originally thought. The grim option is that this pregnancy wasn't good from the beginning and the baby stopped developing leaving only the gestational sac to be seen. Both the ultrasound tech AND Dr. D were very confident that option A is what we are dealing with, especially when my hCG levels came back at just under 20,000 (recap: 10/1=922, 10/4=3,334). Option B is still in the back of our heads though, we are praying for a positive outcome. I also am now allowed to do more activities, just can't lift/pull/push anything over 10 pounds, including my Colton =( , or walk really long distances but I am no longer stuck on the couch 24/7!!!

So, (considering option A is correct) Sweet Pea will be a June baby instead of May, I'm fine with that as long as he/she is healthy.

Daddy Time

2010-10-06T14:46:00.005-04:00

Somebody has really been enjoying all the extra time he has gotten to spend with Daddy while Mommy has been on "restricted activity". Their favorite thing to do together? Play playstation of course.

Cautiously Optimistic

2010-10-04T15:23:00.003-04:00

HCG levels were tested this morning (bringing my total number of needle sticks in the last two days to a grand total of five). We waited for about an hour in the waiting room, my nerves were a mess, Seth was just sleepy (he worked 11-7 last night) then finally got to head back to see the Doc. She seemed a little concerned with my "complications" and after an exam sent me across to the hospital for more blood work. Then we had to wait...

Luckily, she knew I was a mess and decided to call as soon she got the news. The first words out of her mouth were "I am very excited about your test results". Shew, my heart began to beat again. Not only did my levels double, they tripled in the last 48 hours. Anything could still happen but for now we are heading in the right direction. I am to remain cautiously optimistic. I am also to remain on "restricted activity". I can go to class (be dropped off and picked up) and do homework but that is about it. I have an ultrasound in two weeks and the next step is to see Sweet Pea's heartbeat.

Thank you all for your prayers... they are pretty powerful.

Tomorrow

2010-10-03T23:12:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow I will find out much more about my pregnancy. They will do the second round of blood work to determine if my HCG levels have increased or not. If they have then we will assume, for the time being, that this pregnancy is going to continue. If not, we may lose the baby.

To say I am scared is an extreme understatement. I have already fallen in love with this baby. In my opinion life begins at conception, I already have a precious little life growing inside of me.

My emotions are all over the place, my heart is remaining where it belongs, with God.

Our faith is strong and our prayers are even stronger.

BIG NEWS part 2

2010-10-02T22:53:00.003-04:00

As you can tell in my last post, Seth, Colton and I are very excited to be adding to our little family. We actually decided to start trying to have a child about three months ago but decided to take a break in August due to me returning to school and Seth working on new job prospects. Well, of course, God has his own plans and decided to bless us with "Sweet Pea" when we were least expecting it.

We are soooo thrilled at the prospect of becoming parents again and Colton gets very excited when we say "You are going to be a BIIIIG BROTHER!" (even if he doesn't really know what it means just yet). However, we are also very nervous and cautious at the same time. Due to Colton's early birth I am considered "high risk" which just means they will take extra precautions with this pregnancy. In fact, they already are. I am currently on "restricted activity" because of some complications that landed me in the Emergency Room late last night. Everything is fine for now, I return to the doctor Monday morning for some more tests and an exam. In the meantime, I am ordered to "spend the weekend laying on the couch watching movies", and take it easy. That is exactly what I am doing, the only complaint I have is the fact that I'm not allowed to lift Colton, he doesn't like this at all but its for the best so I will follow doc's orders.

Now for some logistics, Sweet Pea (the name my sister came up with for him/her, speaking of which today is her 21st Birthday ***HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT BOO***) is due sometime in late May/Early June 2011. I am only about five weeks along. We wanted to wait until at least eight weeks to make the big announcement but I am impatient and too excited to keep this to myself so it just kind of "slipped out" in the form of a certain "Big Brother" tee shirt. I am experiencing a few symptoms including fatigue, tenderness in certain areas, cravings (oddly Grease and Potatoes) and headaches. Not to mention, I have a very nasty cold that will not go away.

There are a lot of concerns and risks this early but we are deciding to remain optimistic and trust in the Lord with all our hearts that his plan is superior to our own. I am already in love with this little life growing inside of me, being a mother is what I was put on this earth to do and I am rejoicing in the fact that I have be given the chance to do so again.

Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes and congratulations, it means a lot to us, all FOUR of us! =)

BIG NEWS from Colton

2010-10-02T17:11:00.002-04:00

Untitled

2010-09-30T00:27:00.003-04:00

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Nothing more. I need comfort right now and thought maybe someone out there does too.

Falling in love with FALL!

2010-09-28T10:56:00.006-04:00

When I was a child summer was my favorite time of year, as I got older (and more warm-blooded) the new flowers of Spring always struck my fancy. I would still consider spring my favorite season but the beauty of Autumn has been pulling me in more and more as a 20-something year old. The colors, the smells, the food, the weather, it is all so wonderful.

And then when you include the fun and excitement of Halloween, you have tons of my favorite things wrapped up in the magic of fall.

Last Halloween, we got tons of questions about Colton's dragon costume, mainly "Where did you get it?" The answer: One Step Ahead. This website sends us a catalog monthly and they have some amazing toys and some of the cutest costumes for children that I have EVER seen.

I have a few favorites for this years costume...

The Spider

The Monkey

and the Lil Monster

They are all so cute, it is just so hard to choose. What's your favorite?

Changes

2010-09-26T22:10:00.007-04:00

We have had Colton's first preschool meeting (there are a few left) and are in the process of touring schools and getting evaluations completed. Can you believe in TWO months he will be THREE, I sure can't believe it. We are choosing between two local schools right now. One has a smaller class size (think 9 students) while the other is closer to home. There are pros and cons at both schools but Seth and I are just trying to make the right choice for our little boy. Tomorrow we tour the second school and have to make our decision very soon after. We are making lists, researching and praying about it a lot, his education is extremely important to us, especially with all the challenges he faces now and will face throughout his school career. A lot of people keep telling me "it's just preschool" but to me it is sooo much more. This year will set the tone for his entire education, yes things can change (get better or worse) but he is very at risk for falling very behind and we need to make sure the people responsible for teaching him are capable of helping him to transition into a classroom of same-age peers. Luckily, he will have three years to do this. His birthday is in November, preschool here starts at the age of three. The year after you turn five you enter kindergarten. So, he will turn five in November 2012 and get to stay in preschool that whole school year, starting K in fall 2013. His birthday works to his advantage in this case (unlike when he was born).

At three we face another big change also, he will lose the three therapists (OT, PT and Vision) that he has had since he came home from the hospital. They work for the state's intervention program that ends at the age of three (because preschool starts then). He will still get these services at school and will also be visiting the local rehab center but we will all miss his therapists soooo much. They are amazing (an even better word than amazing that I can't think of right now, it's late) and are the main reason he has made it as far as he has in this journey. Not only have they helped Colton but us also. When you find out your child has special needs (and aren't familiar with this "whole new world" already) you feel so lost and confused. These women have made me a better parent to Colton, helping me to navigate and master these unfamiliar roads. I will always be thankful for everything they have done. Like I said, we will ALL really, really miss them.

So tomorrow we make a decision, a decision that, in my opinion, will impact the rest of our child's life. Wish us luck.

Let's Get Together

2010-09-11T08:03:00.000-04:00

Our Annual Family Reunion

Random Happenings

2010-09-10T13:45:00.005-04:00

Obviously I have taken the last couple weeks off as a blogger, just to get back into the swing of things with school and all that jazz. I intended to start writing again at the beginning of this week but plans changed thanks to the fact that all three of us Darnell's were sick with sinus & ear infections as well as nasty colds. Unfortunately, Colton is still fighting off his germs but Seth and I are 95% back to normal.

While I was absent we have been crazy busy with reunions and birthdays and homework and FOOTBALL GAMES! More on all that very soon.In the meantime I hope you'll be satisfied with some picture of one happy little boy.

Back To School

2010-08-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it's here.

Today I begin (again) finishing my degree in Elementary Education, my first class of the semester is this afternoon.

I am certainly going to miss seeing this cutie patootie all day, every day.

My Green Monster

2010-08-20T23:16:00.001-04:00

I have a monster. No, not a monster in my closet but a monster none the less. My monster is green and big and hairy and ugly. My monster has a name, its name is jealousy. I'm not jealous of the things other people have, I am jealous of the things other people (mainly other people's children) can do. To admit this to you all makes me so ashamed and embarrassed, I want to stop typing, I want to turn of my laptop, pull up my cover and drift slowly to sleep. But, I CAN'T. This monster has been haunting me so badly for so long and it is very important for me to be honest and not keep this monster locked inside.

Most of you know Colton's story, he is my miracle boy. Being born at 23 weeks, 6 days is not an easy thing to do for anyone, especially a one pound fragile newborn. Because of his early birth he developed brain bleeds that eventually led to brain surgery and brain damage, this is the primary cause of his CP. Not only does his development suffer neurologically, he is also 95% blind, another disability stemming from his premature birth. Needless to say, Colton is significantly behind his peers developmentally. I knew this would be the case from the beginning, everyday people would remind me that he was born four months early and that he would be 4-6 months behind other babies born the same time as him. I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for is the fact that now, at almost three years old he would not be even close to "caught up". If I had a dollar for all the times I've heard "remember, every preemie develops at his/her own pace" I would... well, I'm not sure what I would do but I would be a very rich person. I know this already but it doesn't take the sting away when you watch a baby two years younger than your child walking around without a care in the world while my little man is stuck crawling around on the floor. I've watched the children of my friends, family and even strangers develop at what seems like breakneck speeds, they are all passing us by. My green monster grows a little more each day, I feel like one day I might just explode.

I've talked a lot about "I" in this post. Yes, selfishly, I am jealous for myself. I want to be able to watch my son take his first steps someday, hear him ask me a question or just be able to communicate with his peers. I want all this for me, yes, but I want it for him 1000 times more. We head to the hospital at least once a month to visit various specialists and as soon as I take a seat in the waiting rooms Colton is wiggling trying to get down and play. Hospitals are germy, I can't imagine letting him crawl around on those floors but I see other kids smaller than him walking around freely and it makes my heart hurt. He would be so much happier walking, I know he would. I want this for him, my green monster grows even more when I think of all the things he would love to do but can't. I'm sure that two months from now, when he starts preschool, he would be so proud to walk across that threshold into the classroom that he will spend the next three years, I used to be sure that would happen, now not so much. He tries so hard but he has so many things working against him, it's so hard to watch and so horribly unfair.

I usually try to put a positive spin on all my posts but I just can't today. My heart hurts too bad. I'm sad and scared and angry and extremely jealous. I'm ashamed of my green monster but I just can't seem to shake him. At least now I am one step closer to setting him free.

10 Things You Really Need to Know about Baby Sign Language

2010-08-19T08:54:00.005-04:00

We have used sign language with Colton for over a year now, it has really helped give him a way to communicate with us despite his speech delay. So, when Misty over at babysignlanguage.com asked to publish a guest post on my blog, I accepted immediately. Enjoy her list of 10 things you really should know about baby sign language.

1.Every baby can do this. Yes, every baby will learn at a different speed. Some babies will like to sign – others will not get terribly fired up about it. But all babies can do this.

2. All parents can do this. You do not need to be fluent in American Sign Language. You do not need to be a teacher. You do not need to be a patient saint. You can mess up daily and it will still be worth your while. You can do this, I promise.

3. Some elderly lady will come up to you in church and tell you that you are delaying your baby’s speech by signing with her. Just nod, smile and say okay, thank you. Then quickly walk away. You are NOT delaying anything. Multiple studies show that babies who learn to sign learn to speak SOONER than babies who don’t sign. When they do learn to talk, toddlers who have grown up signing have bigger vocabularies and utilize longer sentences. You are helping your baby learn to speak, not hindering her, no matter what well-meaning little old ladies say.

4. Babies and toddlers who know how to sign show less frustration behaviors such as screaming, crying, and biting. (What’s the sign for hooray?)

5. Studies show that children who grow up signing have a higher reading level.

6. Learning American Sign Language is learning a life skill. Your child will have a foundation to speak and understand a second language.

7. It is never too late to start. Many moms start signing when their babies are 18 months old, or even older. Some moms start signing because their child’s speech is deemed “delayed” by the medical establishment. If you have an interest, then don’t think your baby is “too old.”

8. Signing improves self-esteem. Learning to sign and being praised for signing will build your child’s confidence. By teaching her to sign, you are showing her that you care what she thinks, how she feels, and what she has to say. All of this will make her feel better about herself!

9. I hate to even include this in my list, but it could be valuable information, so … some daycares are now requiring that babies know how to sign. They might not advertise this, but when you are battling for a spot in a popular daycare, signing babies stand a better chance of landing the gig. Also – and here’s the part that makes me sound like an infomercial – Baby Sign Language looks good on a pre-school application. I know, it’s ridiculous, but true. Educators know that those children who sign do better in school and are easier to teach. Please don’t think that I’m telling you that if your 20-month-old isn’t signing that he is doomed to failure. That would be ridiculous and I am not suggesting that. But it is true that there are social advantages to signing.

10. Have fun. Please, please, please, don’t make this another stressful thing you tack on to stressful parenting. Signing with your baby is supposed to be fun, and it will not work for either of you if it feels like a chore. Don’t put any pressure on yourself or your baby and just view it as a way to play and bond with your baby. You already talk to her, you already read to her, you already feed her. Baby Sign Language is not about stopwatches, charts and drills. It’s about incorporating a simple, gentle method of communicating into your daily lives. You can choose how much, how fast, and how to do it. Just make sure you’re doing it with a smile, or it’s just not worth it.

Rockstar

2010-08-17T21:59:00.003-04:00

I've always known he was something special.

He's my little rockstar!

Confessions of a Mother & Wife

2010-08-13T14:17:00.003-04:00

I confess that early this morning I got a speeding ticket for going 52 in a 35, right after a black cat ran across the road in front of my car on Friday the 13th.

I confess that until last night I hadn't folded our clean laundry in like two weeks.

I confess that I can't go to bed unless the bed is made and I even make it right before I get in if for some reason I didn't get to it earlier in the day.

I confess that I am the clumsiest person I know.

I confess that I've gained 10 pounds in the last few weeks, I need more willpower.

I confess that I check on my son at least 10 times a night, still.

I confess that I should be cleaning right now.

I confess that I have an unnatural fear of peanuts.

I confess that I love my life as a mother and wife!

Any confessions you wish to share?

Lashed Out

2010-08-12T16:30:00.000-04:00

Some days, okay everyday, I imagine that I have his eyelashes. Then, I look in the mirror, shake my head and dab on a couple extra coats of mascara.
Aren't they just gorgeous?

Best Friends

2010-08-11T23:49:00.009-04:00

With Colton starting preschool in November, I'm sure he will acquire tons of wonderful little friends. Until then however, he is perfectly content with these guys.
Meet Scout and Tigger.
They are the best friends that a boy could ever have.
These dudes make bed time look cool.Of course Mama is a pretty good substitute best friend when Scout and Tigger aren't around, not trying to toot my own horn or anything *wink*.
And yes those are bruises on our sweet little man's head, any tips from parents of other visually impaired children on how to keep my adventurous two year old from slamming HEAD FIRST into EVERYTHING are welcome and greatly appreciated. Thanks!

The Love of Money

2010-08-10T22:43:00.006-04:00

Today was a decent day, we all slept in then got up and headed out of the house to run some errands. Before we left, the hubs asked me to check the balance of our bank account. Well, apparently, I spent a little too much money the last time I went to the grocery store and we got in a little argument. Not a big argument, just a tiny one really but an argument none the less. Money is such a big issue these days and it seems like just about every couple we know has some kind of issue with money going on. Some are fighting to get debt free, some are barely making ends meet, some owe more than they are paid, but everywhere you look finances are causing trouble.

After we had duked it out, the hubs and I made up and went on about our day. No matter how angry we get at one another it never lasts for very long, I am extremely thankful for that. But, this little tiff got me thinking, most of the time our disagreements do that. Why do we let money control us so and effect our lives as much as it does. I know we need food and shelter, the basic essentials but all the other things really don't matter. The bible says it best; 1 Timothy 6:10 teaches us the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. The bible is interpreted in many different ways but when I read this verse I understand it to mean that "loving" money is trouble and can distract us from all the wonderful and beautiful things in life. Wonderful things like the love that I share with my husband and the amazing things we have been blessed with. So often I find myself "wanting" but the truth is I have everything I could ever need. I am making it my goal to remind myself everyday how lucky I am and how amazing my life really is. Praise God!

Look Who's Talking

2010-08-08T14:22:00.006-04:00

Colton has been working really hard with a speech therapist for most of his life. He picked up on sign language pretty early and now has about 10 words that he can sign on a daily basis. Although we are very pleased with his ability to learn signs so quickly it has been a blessing to listen to the new verbal words he has started saying the last couple weeks. He starts preschool in November and my hope was that he would be somewhat verbal and mobile, as you can see in this video, we are on the right track. Go Colton!

#HomeHer10 Swag

2010-08-07T15:11:00.006-04:00

Those of us attending #HomeHer10 are super busy attending sessions and parties this weekend so we need to make sure we look good on the go. We've got lots to do, so what better swag than a cute hard-case wallet to do it with. A place to store all your credit cards (for those crazy shopping trips), IDs (to get into all the hottest parties), and business cards to keep up with all the amazing people you meet at #HomeHer10.

This #HomeHer10 Swag is sponsored by Thirty-One Gifts with Crystal and Debbie. Not sure what #HomeHer10 is... well, check out @BackpackingDad's blog post here or just follow the hashtag on twitter.

***TO ENTER***
Visit our Thirty-One Gifts website (linked above) and browse the Fall '10 Catalog, let me know in a comment your favorite item! (1 entry) You must do this first!!!

Follow me @CrystalDarnell on Twitter and comment letting me know you did so (1 entry)

"Like" our Facebook page and comment letting me know you did so (1 entry)

Follow this blog and (you guessed it) leave a comment letting me know you did so (1 entry)

Contest will close Sunday night (August 8th) at 10 p.m. EST!

Giggle

2010-08-05T21:56:00.003-04:00

Remember that laugh I said could ALWAYS cheer me up? Well, here it is, the most amazing sound in the entire world.

I bet he put a smile on your face too!

What's Not to Love?

2010-08-03T03:23:00.002-04:00

Things I love about this handsome little boy.

I love that he is a good eater, as if you couldn't tell.

I love that he is a fighter, has been from the very beginning.

I love that no matter how bad of day I am having, he can always bring a smile to my face.

I love that he flashes a grin when he gets something he wants, he knows he has us all wrapped right around that itty bitty pinky finger.

I love that he plugs his fingers in his ears when he is taking a dump. I guess this helps equalize the pressure...?

I love his scars, they remind me of how far he has come.

I love his laugh, how could you not?

I love the look of determination he gets when he is trying to learn something new, he never gives up.

I love our cuddle time, it's the best part of my day.

Honestly, I love everything about my little man. So sweet it is to be the mother of such a remarkable work of God.

Questions

2010-08-02T01:49:00.004-04:00

I have so many questions, most which will not be answered for a long time, some may never be answered.

Questions like...

Why did my son have to be born at 23 weeks and spend the first six months of his life in the hospital?

Why did ROP have to destroy his retinas to the point of blindness? Why does he never get to see the beauty of a rose or the color of the sky?

Will he ever have a girlfriend or even a date? Will he ever get married and enjoy the pure happiness of being a parent?

Will he ever talk?

Will he ever walk?

Why us? Why HIM?

These questions, along with so many more, haunt me everyday and everyday I have to remind myself that today he is happy and alive and healthy and for today that is all that matters.

Where did summer go?

2010-07-31T23:39:00.005-04:00

Ahhh! It's already August and my last post was in... MAY! I have been a major, major slacker this summer but I have had a lot of fun with everything that's been keeping me busy and away from blogging. However, the last couple weeks, I keep hearing this little voice in my head saying "write a post, it'll do some good." So "little voice" I am listening, because as time consuming as this blog can be (when I'm actually posting on a regular basis) it is also VERY therapeutic.

I would like to apologize to everyone who keeps up with Colton via my blog, those of you who do not have or haven't found me yet on facebook are probably wondering what the little guy has been up to lately... well... LOTS! Therapies, fairs, horseback riding and sooo much more. We have been super busy. One big thing we have been working on... walking! I've shared this video on facebook but its about time it appears on my blog.

Will it be another two months before I post again? I'm not making any promises, but my bets on N-O.

Miracles Happen!

2010-05-07T02:06:00.026-04:00

Miracles Happen! was our 2010 March for Babies - Team Colton theme. I am very proud to say that we raised over $1600 (double our goal) during our second year participating in the March for Babies. Thank you to everyone who helped, donated and joined us at the walk... you guys are amazing, I say that all the time but it really is true.. we have the greatest friends and family.
45 people joined us this year at the annual event (a few missed the team picture).
The kids/babies had a blast and spent the day being absolutely adorable.
The "big kids" had fun too.
Then we marched......and marched......and marched.It was a beautiful day for a beautiful cause.

Thank you for all your help.
Love Always,
The Darnells

Giddy On Up

2010-04-16T13:56:00.005-04:00

Unless you've been hiding under a rock (or you don't dig country music) then you know who Laura Bell Bundy is. I love her music and after watching a special on her found out that at heart she really is just a down home country girl. Team Colton is doing a drawing for her new CD Achin' & Shakin' to benefit March of Dimes. All you have to do to enter is make a donation to our March for Babies team by clicking HERE or the sidebar over there ==========>

For your viewing pleasure here is Laura Bell's fun music video for Giddy On Up.

Goodies for Babies

2010-04-11T15:56:00.011-04:00

Last year was our first year participating in March for Babies, the year before that Colton was still in the hospital. So much was done for our family while Colt was sick and in the NICU, March of Dimes was the best way for us to give back. Last year we raised a little over $500, not bad for a bunch of rookies. This year we decided to raise our goal to $800 and each year we plan to raise our goal $300 over what we raise during the previous year. The March for Babies Frankfort/Lawrenceburg is just one week away and we, Team Colton, have already exceeded our goal. We are just under $1,200 and still fundraising until the very last minute.So many people have helped this year, family, friends, even strangers. We are so thankful that others care as much about prematurity and birth defects as we do. There is no possible way to thank all of the people who have worked so hard to help us but we do want you all to know that we think you are awesome!

A couple weeks ago we held our first annual Team Colton Bake Sale aka Goodies for Babies, it was a hit. The baked items were offered for a donation to Team Colton and we raised over $300 in just 4 hours.Of course Colton had to work really hard too... at being so stinkin' cute for all his fans! He was certainly exhausted by the end of the day.Helping babies, like Colton, born too small and too sick made all the hard work well worth it.

***If you would like to contribute to Team Colton click HERE!

To blog or not to blog...

2010-04-10T15:46:00.010-04:00

I have asked myself that question almost every day for the last three weeks... the answer, obviously since I have not posted in like FOR-EV-ER (cue Sandlot sleepover scene), is always not to blog and to take a nap or clean or play with Colt or catch up on my DVR instead. It isn't that I am at a loss for ideas. There have been plenty of things to write about like...

the Team Colton Bake Sale for March of Dimes,
the fact that my mom and I have started a new business adventure,
Colton's super cute new pictures
and of course Easter.
I've been busy (oh, alright, you caught me, and lazy) so I haven't had time to write. I am on a mission to change that... will it be mission accomplished or mission impossible? Stick around to find out.

Trip #4

2010-03-20T23:12:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow morning we leave for another trip to Michigan. This will be our fourth trip in just three months, we are TIRED but certainly ready for some insight from Dr. Trese. He will put Colton to sleep in the Beaumont Children's Surgery Center and examine his eyes, we will know a little bit more about how his eyes are healing after the surgeries in January. There is a very slim possibility that Colton will need more surgery but hopefully we will get out of Detroit without that happening. As always, prayers are welcome and appreciated greatly. I'm a bit bummed because Colton has just gotten back to his old smiley self just in time for the Docs to bother his eyes again and make him mad. I already know he will keep his head down and eyes closed for the next two-three weeks, I miss that smile when he is sad.

In other news... How about them WILDCATS? I could not be more pleased with the way UK is playing this season. We are dedicated big blue fans even during the crappy years but boy is it fun to win.

Spring is here and the weather is very nice. Colton's new favorite thing... falling asleep in the swing at a local playground, he loves being outside.

Corrected

2010-03-17T16:32:00.006-04:00

Today is a hard day for me, it is Colton's 2nd "Corrected" Birthday. In the preemie world a corrected birthday is the date the child should have been born (the mother's due date). For Colton this day was March 17, 2008.

I was very excited to have a March baby, it was the perfect month in my opinion, not too hot or cold, just right. Our family is full of Fall and Winter Birthdays so it was a chance for our son to have his own little part of the year. I was quite disappointed when Colton decided to make his early appearance on November 25, 2007. Not only was my son fighting for his life but all my dreams of the perfect birthday for him had been crushed... you think of all the silly little things that could have and should have been when you have months to sit with your thoughts in the NICU.

In the beginning of our NICU experience they told us if Colton made it he would probably be in the hospital until around his due date. That date came, then went and we still didn't have Colton at home with us, I honestly cannot tell you how I made it to May 14th, it was the hardest 172 days of my entire life.

Colton celebrated his 2nd "actual" birthday 4 months ago. When I think about how far in the past that seems I realize just how much time he was robbed of to grow and thrive inside of me. It also reminds me how much of a miracle he is, as if I could EVER forget that.

Today is a hard day. It's hard because every time I close my eyes I am taken back to March 17, 2008 sitting by Colton's bedside, fighting back tears, reminding myself I needed to be strong for my little boy and wondering if he would ever make it home alive.

Corrected Birthdays should not exist, March of Dimes is working so hard to eliminate the term and make sure that ALL babies are born healthy but they need help to make this happen. I challenge you to donate just $5 today to help this very worthy cause in honor of Colton and all others who know just a little too much about corrected birthdays.

Happy Corrected Birthday, Sweet Boy
You're pretty much amazing!Colton Lee Darnell, March 17, 2008

Walkin' On Sunshine

2010-03-08T17:08:00.005-05:00

Colton got his walker today. At first I stood him at it and let him explore a bit, then he starting dancing while holding on to it so I decided to try and get him to take a few steps and guess what... he did!

So... it is a beautiful day here in Kentucky, a great day to go outside and that is exactly what we did. Colton, Nana and I went out and let him walk with his walker.

He is taking steps with it by himself. I hold on to it for safety purposes right now but he is doing it mostly on his own!!! He fusses a bit as he gets tired but when you pick him up he wants back down with it. I am really hoping this is the start of something wonderful.

Ball of Infection

2010-03-04T23:42:00.005-05:00

Hopefully, no one noticed that I only wrote like 6 posts in February... it's not entirely my fault though. Colton spent most of the month either recovering from eye surgery or being sick. It's been a rough month for him, ear infections, upper respiratory infection and one very nasty sinus infection... he has basically been one big ball of infection all month (costume idea for next Halloween...?) and he has been the grumpiest he has ever been in his entire life, literally.

Well Colton is back as of yesterday!!! He is back on his regular schedule and back to his smiley self (despite the still-constant stream of snot running out of his nose). This makes me very happy. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the extra cuddle time he insisted on just about every night but I am so thankful that my baby boy is getting back to his old self, I missed him.

I have also been increasingly busy with March for Babies - Team Colton fundraising (you can click the link if you would like to contribute). Considering Colton's battle with prematurity, our family is very passionate about March of Dimes and everything they do for babies like him. We have a few fundraising events in the works but I am slowly running out of ideas, if you have any suggestions that have worked for you in the past then please feel free to suggest them.

I am going to try very hard to at the very least write more posts this month than I did last... I am sure I can do it. We only have one trip Michigan this month (on the 22nd) so I think I will have much more time on my hands.

Getting Back to Normal

2010-02-21T00:37:00.006-05:00

Sorry that I haven't updated much lately, we've all been working pretty hard on March of Dimes stuff around here lately. Team Colton is at it full force!

Colton is almost back to normal, I'd say about 80%. He still keeps his eyes closed and head down a lot. I asked Dr. Trese about it during our latest trip to Michigan and he assured me that Colton is just keeping his head down and eyes closed trying to keep us from giving him his eye drops, he still hates them with a passion. The Doc was still very optimistic for improved vision, getting a strong red eye response in both eyes. This means that nothing is blocking the retinas now, like the scar tissue was before the surgery. I asked a couple time if he could tell me just how much "improved" we were talking and he gave me the same answer that he did right after each surgery... "We will just have to wait and see but things look good". Like I have said before, it will take up to nine months for us to know just how well the surgery worked, talk about anxiety, shew!

In other news, Colt got his first "real" haircut yesterday. He won't quite look up for pictures just yet so I will have to try and get one soon, he looks like such a big boy. Daddy and I did it because we knew he wouldn't let anyone else near his head right now. I held him while Daddy cut his hair and guess what... he loved it... who knew?

He is doing so well at cruising the furniture, I have a feeling that one day he will just take off, once he gets going there is no stopping him, he's a fighter.

There isn't much else to report, we are all (currently) happy, healthy and thriving.

Why Do We March?

2010-02-17T12:20:00.002-05:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A Very SWEET Birthday

2010-02-14T00:17:00.009-05:00

Today is not only Valentine's Day it is also my Mother's birthday!!! I won't say how old she is (okay, okay, she is finally turning 21 *wink*) but I will tell you all how wonderful she is.
She has stood firmly by my side from day 1.She helped me to learn and grow.She supported me in my many sports, activities, pageants and clubs... and even doubled as a taxi driver until I turned 16.She even gave me advice on boys, make-up, love, friends and life in general. Mom's have soooo many jobs and she did an excellent job at juggling it all.
Not only is she an awesome mom, she is now an even better Nana!!!

Thanks Mom for everything, I love you.
Happy Birthday, hope your day is as great as you are!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Smiley Boy

2010-02-10T18:56:00.012-05:00

Okay, so this Wednesday isn't so wordless... I've got a lot on my mind.

With all of Colton's surgeries, appointments and sickness, he is not the smiling, happy boy that I am used to. His eyes are kept tightly shut most of the time (probably trying to avoid eye drops) and his smile has been replaced with a pouting bottom lip. I know that soon we will be able to stop giving him eye drops and medication and he will return to the outgoing boy we all know and love. I have to remember this is all worth it. In the meantime I have been looking at lots of smiley boy pictures and imagining the day when he will look like this again.

Snotty Mommy

2010-02-07T23:48:00.005-05:00

Seriously, we cannot catch a break around here. We got in from Michigan last Tuesday night and all was well for about 48 hours. Colton played, I did laundry and cleaned, Seth napped, things were pretty much getting back to normal. and then...

BAM!

we get hit head-on by little germy, sickness bugs. I got it first, then Seth got a touch of it, then Colton and now Nana. Who's next? Your guess is as good as mine. The point is we've been a sickly bunch for the last several days. I pretty much stayed in bed for 24 hours, feeling awful, then, as if by magic *poof*, I was much better. Still have a snotty nose but my sore throat, fever and body aches are nowhere to be seen. Seth and his extraordinary immune system managed to squeeze by with just minor sinus issues. Colton on the other hand got hit hard by this bug. He didn't eat or drink for a full 24 hours. He had to be held constantly, that was the only way to keep him comfortable. He had a fever, sore throat, cough, and just about every other symptom of winter-sickness you can imagine. My son always seems to get sick on the weekend, when the Peds office is closed, so I took him this morning to the Family Care Clinic here in Frankfort. It was determined that he had an ear and respiratory infection, so we got some antibiotics and headed home. After two doses of meds (added to his eye-drop regimen, which he still HATES) he is still not quite back to normal but much, much better.

Me, on the other hand, well I'm burnt out, exhausted, spent... just another day in the life of a snotty mommy.

My Little Alien

2010-02-01T17:27:00.007-05:00

Colton has to wear eye patches over both of his eyes when he sleeps so he doesn't mess up all the hard work the Docs have put into his improved sight. He likes the eye patches just about as much as he does the eye drops... none at all. I think it's kind of cute though, I call him my little alien.Now all we need is a flying saucer to transport us back home in a fraction of the time it will take us by car tomorrow!

A pat on the back for Dr. Trese

2010-01-30T13:11:00.009-05:00

Don't you feel so sorry for him? We do... so he is being super spoiled right now. All good news from the follow up appointment this morning. A light was shined in Colt's right eye and he flinched! He has never been able to see anything out of that eye before. It was very exciting. After the surgery yesterday Dr. Trese examined the other eye that he had operated on earlier in the week. He told everyone in the room that he should pat himself on the back for the job he had done to Colton's left eye. Apparently, it looks THAT good. Next, we have an appointment on Tuesday in Dr. Trese's office then we will hopefully be headed back down south. I miss my old Kentucky home!

***By the way, I am aware that I forgot to post this weeks braille alphabet letter. To be honest, it completely slipped my mind with all that has been going on. We will resume with the letter 'B' next week. Have you been watching for braille out in the world?I have!
Send me your pictures by email or twitter and I will share them here on my blog.

Round Two (second surgery in Detroit)

2010-01-29T07:32:00.001-05:00

It's a cold Friday morning in Detroit and we are all up getting ready to leave for Colton's 2nd eye surgery at Beaumont Hospital. Monday's surgery was a victory we are hoping for a repeat today. Colton's right eye (the one they will be working on today) needs more work than the left. Dr. Trese thinks the retina might have a hole in it which is why they took blood plasma from me on Tuesday, they will inject it into his eye and, from what I understand, it will hopefully act as glue to help repair the retina. They will also try to remove scar tissue from previous surgeries just as they did with during Monday's operation.

Two surgeries in one week is a lot for anyone especially for a two year old but he is hanging in there. We will have a follow up appointment on Saturday and on Tuesday then we will be able to go home. But we were informed on Tuesday that we will have to come back to Detroit in about 2 weeks for a short stay and then on and off again for the next several years. As a result of this news, I have left the 'donate' button on the right side of my page. We have already receieved so much help that I hate to have to imply that we need more, but we do. My heart goes out to everyone who have already donated to us, I hope one day we will be comfortable enough to help others as they have helped us. I also understand that times are rough and a lot of people need as much if not more help than we do, prayer and encouragement is just as important to us as monetary support so we are thankful for everyone who has lended a hand in any way they could.

I plan on having internet access during tomorrow's procedure so I will be sure to update twitter.

Wordless Wednesday - Better Late Than Never

2010-01-27T23:22:00.008-05:00

Time for eye drops...... poor little guy.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

2010-01-26T16:42:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was the "Big Game" and I am proud to say Colton and his team came away with a win. Dr. Trese came out to talk to Seth and me immediately after surgery and told us that things went BETTER than expected. The doctor was able to remove a lot of scar tissue that was left over from Colton's surgeries in the NICU and he was able to spread back out Colton's folded retina. We definitely have improved vision!!! We won't know exactly how much improved for several months, it takes that long for the retina to get as repaired as it is going to get. However, today he has already been squinting more than usual in bright lights, we all notice just a tiny difference in how he is acting visually. This is very reassuring to us.

This morning we headed over to Beaumont for a follow-up appointment. Dr. Trese was still very optimistic as he examined Colton. Our boy does have to wear an eye patch for 2 weeks at night and arm restraints when he is not being held to keep him from harming his eye. He is on eye drops 4 times a day and restricted activity. His eye is black but he is eating and drinking normally, his mood is as well as can be expected after the events of this week. He does look pretty pitiful.
During the appointment today I had to give blood plasma that they will inject into Colton's right eye during Friday's operation. I have a packet to read that explains why they need to do this, I'm slacking and have not yet read it but when I do I will compose a post explaining exactly how that is used. I AM NOT GOOD WITH BLOOD so I was shaking and very nervous when they did this. Colton went to sleep so Seth stayed with me and helped me with my fears. It went okay. I was very tired and dizzy until we made it back to the hotel, after a 3 hour nap I felt much better. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, my mind was just playing tricks on me.

As you know, this victory against ROP is not complete just yet. On Friday they will operate on his right eye. We are hoping we come away with a win once again. No matter what, we know that Colton and his team have exceeded all of our expectations.

The Big Game (First Surgery in Detroit)

2010-01-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

Our family loves sports, Seth played football as a boy, in high school and then in college. I was always on a cheerleading or dance team so I was right in there with all the action. A lot of things in life, like Colton's first surgery here in Detroit, can be compared to a big football game.

We have prepped and practiced none stop for the last several weeks, you have helped us, our biggest strength on the practice field? Prayer, no doubt. Colton's cheerleaders; friends, family, blog readers, have helped us prepare for the "big game". You have prayed, sent in donations and offered us words of encouragement, we couldn't be more prepared and that is in large part thanks to each of you.

Now, the day is here, the day of the "big game". It takes place this morning around 11:00 a.m. The home team, Retinopathy of Prematurity. This team is big, powerful and doesn't like to play fair. The opposing team, Colton and his team of Doctors here in Michigan. Colton's team is heading into the home of ROP (his eyes) with every intention of teaching that nasty ROP a lesson. This game is evenly matched, it could go either way. But we all know Colton, the quarterback of his team, is a tough one, he's a fighter. His record 5 - 3, four successful operations and three losses, the latter all against ROP. The good news is we've got a new coach, his name is Dr. Trese and he is one tough cookie, the best of the best.

I will be a spectator today, Colton's #1 fan. Sitting on the front row, cheering as much as I possibly can. The best thing about being his #1 fan... I get to love and cherish him always, win or loose.

And now... it's time to head to the "big game". Wish us luck.

On the Road Again (to Detroit)

2010-01-24T11:55:00.001-05:00

By the time you read this we will be in the car headed to Michigan for Colton's 2nd trip to visit Dr. Trese in Royal Oak. On Monday morning they will do an exam under anesthesia at Beaumont Hospital, then, as long as the doctor still feels that the surgery will be beneficial, he will proceed. We will visit Dr. Trese's office on Tuesday morning for a follow up visit and to discuss how the surgery went. The next step will most likely include surgery on the opposite eye next Friday, with a follow up visit on Monday morning. After that we will be free to head back to Kentucky. I have no clue what exactly the next week will bring for the Darnell family but we certainly will know a lot more (good or bad) about Colton's future eye sight after it is over.

I am still fighting with myself on the subject of hope versus over-optimism. Right now I am sticking with a 'hope for the best, prepare for the worst' mentality. Honesty, I have always known that we have so much to be thankful for. The fact that Colton is alive is miracle enough for one lifetime. I am human though, I can't help hoping that God has at least one more in store for us all.

As far as I know, we will have internet access at the hotel so I will be sure to update everyone on here, facebook and twitter as often as possible. It is the least I can do after everything you all have done for us. I know I have said it before, but we really are so amazed and thankful at all the prayers, donations and words of support & encouragement we have received. It means the world to me to know that so many people care about my family and especially my little boy.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I couldn't possibly say it enough.

This is a test

2010-01-23T23:03:00.001-05:00

Testing, 123... Is this thing on? I have had a wonderful birthday today. Thank you to everyone for making it so special. My amazing parents got me this wonderful iPhone that I am attempting to type my first mobile post on. Is it working? I hope so. I should be packing considering we leave for Detroit in the morning. But of course I am downloading apps instead. My dad is still in the hospital but he is doing much better, he's still on meds to get rid of the infection. I suppose I should at least attempt to be productive, so I guess that is all for now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

24 Years Ago Today...

2010-01-23T00:00:00.001-05:00

... I was born.I don't actually remember but I've been told it was a pretty good day. Thank you Mom and Dad for bringing me into this wonderful life!

Daddy's Girl

2010-01-22T17:18:00.005-05:00

I have always been and always will be a daddy's girl. My dad has always been so strong, loving and supportive. With all my heart I believe he is one of the greatest men on earth. Because my dad is so strong, when he is hurting or sad I feel horrible myself. Right now he is hurting. Last week he had a procedure done at our local hospital and now the trauma of that procedure has caused him to develop a staph infection and cellulitis. He is diabetic so he is prone to infection but this infection has landed him in the hospital. His blood pressure and blood sugar are through the roof so he is really suffering. This daddy's girl is asking you to please pray for her daddy, it is so hard to seem him in pain.

***I am updating twitter frequently. Follow me here.

Thoughts

2010-01-21T16:07:00.004-05:00

Just some random thoughts... I'm not in the mood to compose a post that takes much effort. Sorry. Just being honest. I'm exhausted. I had a sore throat for about a week, luckily it went away on its own and I didn't have to go to the doc (I don't have insurance). I worked this morning teaching music at an elementary school, it was fun but I'm so tired. My birthday is this weekend, I'm turning 24 but I can't convince myself to get excited (I'm normally all giddy about my birthday). I think the stress of everything that could happen next week is kicking in. I feel like I'm allowing myself to hope too much. I want to be optimistic but I don't want to be so hopeful that I am devastated if nothing can be done to improve Colton's vision at least a little. I'm torn. No matter what, I have to remember that one of the benefits of having a relationship with God is that he is always right by your side and he has a plan for everything.

***When you have nowhere else to turn... look up.***

A is for Alphabet

2010-01-17T16:37:00.000-05:00

Even with the surgeries coming up in Detroit, Colton's primary means of writing and reading will be braille. I have been taking braille courses online through Hadley School for the Blind since last year and have learned grade 1 (uncontracted) braille. I wanted to learn the braille alphabet early so that I could introduce it to Colton as soon as possible. Well, that time has come, this week we will begin a "Letter of the Week" unit in braille. Some believe it is too early (I strongly disagree) while others are very interested in getting involved in Colton's braille education. Many of our family members, friends, co-workers and blog readers have mentioned to me that they would love to learn braille, well guys, now is your chance. I will be sharing our alphabet journey with you, every Sunday, starting today! Whatever your reason may be, I hope you will take this opportunity to explore braille with Colton and I.

*In addition to the letter I will be sharing activities that you can do with your child, some may be a bit premature for Colton but I still would like to share them with you.

Here we go...

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A

Before we begin it is important to share a little information about the braille system. Every braille character is formed within a cell, each braille cell is made up of six dots. Like this.The dots are numbered 1-6 for reference purposes. 1 through 3 on the first column, 4 through 6 on the second. In uncontracted braille, each word is spelled out letter for letter. This is what we will be learning, the alphabet in uncontracted braille. Contracted braille or grade 2 braille is similar to shorthand, one day I will be sure to do a series of blog posts on contracted braille but I will not go into any more detail on that considering I have not even begun that course at Hadley yet.

The letter a is formed using just one dot, located in dot 1 of the braille cell. It looks like thisThe shaded dot is a. The unshaded dots are just there as you are learning, so you can see where the dots are in relation to the full braille cell. For a person learning each letter with a visual impairment the shaded dot would be textured so they could feel it. It is perfectly okay for anyone with vision to learn braille through sight, it is the primary way we are accustomed to learning.

How many of you have those magnetic letters that stick on your fridge, we do but ours might be a little different than yours. Playskool makes magnetic letters and numbers with braille on them, these are great for sighted or VI children. The can introduce your child to braille and provide hours of fun.

Another great way to introduce your child to braille is through literature. The Secret Code is a book about two children, one who is blind, who discover that braille is a lot of fun.If you would like to order books that contain both print and braille, Seedlings is a great place to start. They have a lot of very popular books. For a, our letter of the week a great book to start with is Alex Alligator and His Fearsome Jaws.Be sure to practice your letter a, if you happen to see a sign in braille, take a closer look and see if you can find our letter of the week. Join us next week for the letter b.

You Guys Rock My Socks!

2010-01-12T13:22:00.003-05:00

I am so lucky!

So lucky to have amazing people in my life (IRL & OL) that care enough about a little boy (my Colt) to send waves of prayers in his name up to our Lord during this difficult time. Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, well-wishes, donations, support and encouragement. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

So lucky that several people care enough to send in donations to help us get to Detroit and back for surgeries that we hope will improve Colton's vision. It is so nice to know that there are still people out there who will lend a helping hand to someone that they barely even know. My heart is full of joy and thankfulness.

So lucky that today prayers were answered. Colton's test results showed no significant brain damage, he is developmentally behind, we knew that, but nothing on his 'top floor' is working against him so everything will be just fine, it will just take time (and more prayers).

So lucky that a person can live with just one kidney. The kidney scan showed that one of his kidneys is completely not functioning, it's basically sitting there like a shriveled up raisin. The other is working overtime to pick up the slack but it is functioning at 100%. Take that, you kidney smidney, we only need one of you anyways, so ha!

So lucky that I get to be the mother of such a tough little boy. He really is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.I am so lucky!

Snow is white and wet and cold.

2010-01-11T09:37:00.009-05:00

The fact that Colton cannot see doesn't stop him from knowing what things look like, just like sighted children, he learns about things as he experiences them. The only difference is Mommy & Daddy (or whoever else is there) have to be his eyes for him. When you add what we tell him with what he can feel, smell, taste and hear, I think he gets a pretty good idea about all the amazing things God created on our planet.

We had about three inches of snow here in Kentucky this weekend. Last year we had snow but Colton was still to sick and little to go out and play in it. This year he got to experience the white, cold, wet, FUN stuff.He didn't care so much for playing in the snow but he LOVED sledding on top of it, with Daddy, Nana, Pops and cousin Miranda.He loved sledding so much than when it was time to come inwell, lets just say he was none too happy about it.

Monsters

2010-01-09T10:37:00.005-05:00

Last August I wrote this post about my less than perfect mental health. I am very happy to say that my OCD & Panic Disorder are both under much better control than they were when I wrote that post.

I can leave the house without completely freaking out now, I even started working again as a substitute teacher. I didn't get to go back to school last fall like I wanted, due to money issues, but will hopefully return sometime in 2010. I feel more "normal" than I have felt in years. I'm still scared of everything that I wrote about when confessing my secret to the world but with consistent medication, talking it out with others and lots and lots of prayer, I am slowly getting better and stronger.

I have my son to thank for a lot of my progress. Whenever I start feeling scared or anxious, I just look down at him and remember all he has been through. He has fought so hard to overcome every single obstacle that he has been faced with, surely I can beat a few chemical imbalances in my not-so-stable brain. He wakes up with a big smile on his face every day when he could be timid and scared. He wakes up ready to live each day to the fullest.It is usually the parent who helps the child realize that the big scary monster isn't really all that bad after all... obviously in our case it's the other way around.

Pamela

2010-01-08T07:59:00.015-05:00

Pammy was an amazing person with an even more amazing heart. She was full of love and life.She was dedicated to serving the Lordas well as teaching and caring for children.She combined her love for the two in Poland, her favorite place on earth.Her family and friends meant the world to her.especially the close group of girls she grew up with.Daisies were her favorite. And, much like each Daisy adds a little drop of sunshine to the ground, she brought sunlight to each and every life she touched.

On August 6, 2007, after 20 years on Earth, she went to spend an eternity with her Savior and Heavenly Father. She is greatly missed but we all know that she is right where she always wanted to be.

Happy Birthday Pam!!!In Memory of

Pamela Catherine McCardwell
January 8, 1987 ~ August 6, 2007

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

With a little help from my friends.

2010-01-06T08:54:00.006-05:00

***UPDATE*** Since posting, I have had some people ask if it is possible to send a donation through snail mail. Our answer: why of course it is possible! Just shoot me an email at CGDarnell67@hotmail.com and I will reply with our address. And, once again THANK YOU!!!!

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ORIGINAL POST:

Before Colton's latest trip to Detroit, several people asked if we needed help with the related costs. I knew that, with the help of our immediate family, we could handle the cost of that short trip so the only help we requested was prayer.

After meeting with Dr. Trese earlier this week, it was determined that Colton's vision would greatly benefit from surgery in both eyes. For this to happen we are going to need to return to Detroit/Royal Oak, Michigan from January 25 through February 1. I cannot even pretend that we are capable of affording gas to & from and a hotel room during that time on our own. So, that's where anyone who wishes to help comes in. I have placed a 'donate' button from paypal on the upper right hand side of my blog for anyone who wishes to make a donation. Any little bit will help and I guarantee that it is greatly appreciated.

If for some reason we did receive more than required for Colton's medical travel expenses, I will donate it to March of Dimes and Friends of Maddie, both organizations that benefit babies and families in the NICU.

On a side note, tomorrow we have to spend the day at UK Hospital. One of Colton's kidneys has quit working so they are going to run a scan to see exactly what the problem is. They are also going to do an MRI of his brain so we can get some more info on what (if any) brain damage he has going on from his brain bleeds and brain surgery early on. He has to be put to sleep for these test, that always makes me a little nervous... our little rascal has been known to crash under sedation, they know this though and always make sure they are prepared for the worst.

I am so thankful for all of you and of course we are still in need of each and every prayer sent our way. Thank you and God Bless.

Almost Home: Results from Detroit

2010-01-05T20:14:00.002-05:00

First I would like to say 'Thank You' to everyone for your thoughts and prayers during this time, they really do mean the world to us. I’m writing on my MacBook as we are heading back home to Kentucky. Currently, we are driving straight through Ohio and frankly it is the most boring ride/drive ever. We have had a very interesting time in Royal Oak, Michigan.

Earlier today, after Colton’s VEP test, we met with Dr. Trese to discuss the results. The VEP test determines if the retinas are working by measuring what Colton can see through his brain waves. This was an important test because if Colton’s retinas were completely detached and therefore not working, we would know that no amount of surgery could help his vision. Well... BOTH of Colton’s retinas showed a moderate amount of activity!!! This means they are still semi-attached and Dr. Trese feels it would be beneficial to go ahead with surgery in each eye to improve Colton’s vision. He is hoping that afterwards Colton will be able to see the outlines of shapes and have better light perception. We are all very giddy here in my little red Ford Focus.

So, the next step is an exam under anesthesia at Beaumont Hospital on January 25th followed by one surgery and then a follow up appointment on Tuesday. Friday January 29th Dr. Trese will preform surgery in the other eye. After a follow up appointment on Monday February 1st, will be free to head back to Kentucky. We are going to make it a little vacation in the middle of winter, in the blistering cold of Michigan, kind of unconventional, but that’s just how we roll.

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

2010-01-03T23:11:00.004-05:00

IT WILL COME OUT and hopefully with all that sun we will encounter very little snow.

I finished packing last night for Colton and myself (Seth has yet to begin, MEN!) and just programed our trip into the navigation system. My mother is going with us to help out since this is Colton's first time traveling. Sometime tomorrow afternoon/evening we will arrive in Royal Oak/Detroit, Michigan, check in to the patient family housing, get some rest and arrive on time (hopefully) for our appointment at 7 a.m. the next morning. First, Colton will undergo some tests then we will meet with Dr. Trese, the best of the best when it comes to pediatric retina disorders like ROP. From there... well I'm not sure, after that it's pretty much in the Lord's hands.

What do I hope will happen? Well, I would be lying if I didn't tell you that deep-down I wish Dr. Trese would have some magical cure and Colton's vision would be restored to what it was before the nasty ROP attacked and demolished it. I would also be lying if I told you that was even a possibly at this point. Best case scenario, Dr. Trese will be able to perform a surgery that will improve Colton's vision. Improve meaning he will possibly be able to read large print and see well enough to get around without a cane. Worst case scenario, we are out a crap load of gas money when Dr. Trese tells us there is nothing that can be done BUT we will still have our amazing, wonderful, handsome little boy who is, in my eyes (and soooo many others), just about darn perfect!

The sun WILL come out tomorrow because my sunshine comes from a certain little boy in the next room, sleeping peacefully.

A Decade (Part 3: 2007-2009)

2009-12-31T13:42:00.015-05:00

As far as my life goes thus far, 2007 has been the hardest part of it all. It started off okay, in January I turned 21 and celebrated with friends.In February things started to fall apart. Seth and I called off our engagement, we were fighting all the time and both of us had pretty much given up on the other. At the time we were living together in Campbellsville, both still attending CU, his name was on the lease so I had to find another place to live and fast. I moved in with some friends that April, we had fun but I couldn't help thinking something was missing. Seth and I were still seeing each other, taking part in the occasional "overnight visit". *Cue pregnancy test* In June I found out I was pregnant. Seth and his family were not particularly happy with the news, which only hurt me more. Eventually, August rolled around and the friends I had moved in with decided to move out, my parents and I decided it would be best for me (and baby) to move back to Frankfort. I moved back August 1st. Seth stayed in Campbellsville.

On August 6, 2007, very late in the evening, my phone rang, it was a friend from Campbellsville. Pam and Christie had been in a car accident, Pam had been killed. I lost it. I remember thinking how could something so horrible happen to someone so wonderful. Now I realize that I was right about how wonderful she was, God knew it too. That is exactly why he brought her home to him so early in life. I miss her dearly. Selfishly, I wish she was still here but I know that she is in a much better place and I will see her again someday.

The next couple months went by in a blur. My pregnancy went by slowly, Seth came home to visit most weekends, we were still not "together" but trying to work on things. On November 25, 2007 I went into premature labor due to an e-coli infection. Colton Lee Darnell was born that day, 17 weeks early. He stayed in the hospital, in critical condition, for the remainder of 2007. It was the worst time of my life. Seth and I leaned on each other, he moved back to Frankfort and we discovered that the three of us; me, him and Colton, belonged together.

2007 was the year of pain.

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The only goal I had for 2008 was to make it better than the year before. With a lot of help from God, I succeeded. In May, Colton finally got to come home from the NICU.I finally got to be a hands-on, 100% of the time Mommy. That little boy holds the key to my heart. Late that summer, Seth proposed (for the second time) and I said YES!On November 15, 2008 I married my best friend. It was amazing.2008 was the year of magic.

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Now, here we are at 2009. It is amazing how much things can change in ten years. This year we bought a house and completely renovated it.and our miracle baby boy turned TWO!Looking back over the last decade, one thing is for sure, I have been blessed beyond belief. 2009 has been the year of joy.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year. May all the days of 2010 find you living, laughing and loving. See you all next year!

A Decade (Part 2: 2004-2006)

2009-12-30T17:58:00.016-05:00

2004 was a really big year, it was the year I graduated from high school and turned 18. Seth and I did everything together, prom, graduation, it was magical. The end of senior year was amazing to say the least, I quit my job at McDonald's for a more "dignified" position at a local cardiologist's office and spent most of my time enjoying my last days in Frankfort before college.
It was also the year that the Flyer Dance Team won first place at a National Dance Competition.

and the year that I got engaged to Seth (for the first time... stay tuned for more info on that in 2007.)2004 was the year of goodbyes.

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By 2005, I was a college freshman at Campbellsville University with Seth by my side. Going into college I had every intention of majoring in broadcast journalism. However, before classes even started I decided to change it to Elementary Education (my true calling). I gained the freshman 15 plus a few. Seth played football again and I got back into cheerleading.
I roomed with several different girls those first few semesters, ultimately ending up living with one of my best friends from back home, Tiffany.
Our up and down friendship paid off, she is still one of the first people I turn to whenever I need a friend.

2005 was the year of new beginnings.

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The single most important event of 2006 was the moment I met Christie and Pam. Due to one of mine and Tiffany's "down" times, I decided to move in with a whole new group of girls at CU. I moved into the downstairs floor of their townhouse.These girls were unlike anyone I had ever met before. I had always believed in God but they showed me by example what it was like to be a true follower of Jesus Christ. They are two of the most amazing people I have and will ever meet in my entire life. We were together non-stop during that year, girls nights, rook tournaments, intense corn hole games, we did everything together. I love them both and wish with all my heart that it was even possible for all three of us to be together again, in this life anyway.2006 was the year of Pam and Christie.

A Decade (Part 1: 2000-2003)

2009-12-29T23:35:00.002-05:00

In the year 2000, as a 13 going on 14 year old, I totally gave in to the Y2K hype. My horse, Nugget (R.I.P.) was very sick so I spent New Years Eve 1999 with her in her stall at the horse farm. I kept thinking that if this was the "end of the world" my last moments alive were going to be spent shoveling sick horse poo, let me just say this, it was not pretty. It wasn't the 'end of the world' of course, so that is how I entered this decade.

In the summer of 2000 I met my best friend, partner in crime and future maid of honor, Christina. *FYI the middle person in the below picture is no longer our friend, its entirely possible she might attempt to sue me for placing her face on my blog so I have no choice but to "blemish fix" it. =)We were two crazy teenagers, entering our first year at Franklin County High School, she had just transferred to FC as a sophomore and I was an entering Freshman. That summer, before we started school, she moved in my neighborhood directly across the street. It was the beginning of a life-long friendship. We are both married now with our own separate lives, we don't see each other as often as I would like, but I still consider her one of my very best friends. 2000 was the year of Christina.

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In 2001 I turned 15. My life was all about boys and cheerleading.I spent most of my time doing the latter. I got a job at McDonald's to save up for my first car, it was hell and probably part of the reason that I had to have my gallbladder removed that October. I met a guy, who would later be the first to break my heart. 2001 was the year of the cheerleader.

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I went into the year 2002 looking forward to two things only, turning 16 and getting my driver's license. I studied the driver's manual non-stop for months and in July I took my test and passed with flying colors. I had saved up for a down-payment the year before, turning that money over to my parents when it was time for them to make the big purchase. I fell in love with a 1998 Mitsubishi Eclipse while car shopping one day and a couple of weeks later my mother surprised my by checking me out of school and walking out with me to that exact car. . That was also the year I decided to quit the cheerleading squad and try-out for the dance team, I loved both sports (and yes I consider them sports) so I figured two years of each would work out great. I made the team!!! 2002 was the year of the eclipse.

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Remember that first heartbreak I spoke of, well 2003 was the year it happened. After dating around for several months post break up, 2003 also turned into the year I started "going out with" my future husband. Funny how things work out, ain't it? He and I had met in our kindergarten class years earlier but never really noticed one another until that summer. The months after were full of typical high school senior stuff...

like being prisoners of love.
We were full of school spirit,

he played football (#67)while I cheered him on with my friends (usually with his jersey # plastered on my cheek).We attended dancesand UK games (Go Cats!).That was a great year. 2003 was the year of my Seth.

Dancing Fools

2009-12-29T17:37:00.001-05:00

Literally.

My little sister got this game for Christmas.She brought it to our house on Christmas morning. After a big breakfast of biscuits, gravy, eggs, sausage and bacon, she convinced us all to play her game.

The result was HILARIOUS. I genuinely wish I had video, the pictures just don't do it justice. However, I suppose they will have to do. Enjoy!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (my father)

You Can't Touch This (my sister, Samantha and Cousin Zach)
Hot n' Cold (my sister and me)
Cotton Eye Joe (Aunt Melinda and Cousin Miranda)

Wannabe (my mother and Miranda)
We certainly were a bunch of dancing fools. Fun times!

Toy Land

2009-12-28T16:50:00.015-05:00

Christmas was lovely... very busy, but lovely. To recap:

Santa came.
We opened lots of presents.
We drove... and drove some more, visiting with oodles of family and friends.(and yes, that is Pops aka my dad dancing to 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on the Wii, more on that tomorrow)

When we were finished visiting, we headed home to toy land to play.and play.and play some more.

like I said, Lovely.

Now, we are gearing up for New Years and then our big road trip up North.

Three Christmases

2009-12-19T04:04:00.009-05:00

Christmas 2007 we held tightly to our FAITH.
Christmas 2008 we had nothing but HOPE.
This year, Christmas 2009, we are overflowing with LOVE & JOY.
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years.

The Darnells

Up North

2009-12-19T03:12:00.005-05:00

For some time now we have been trying to get an appointment with Dr. Michael Trese (the best of the best as far as Pediatric Ophthalmology is concerned) in Royal Oak/Detroit, Michigan. As many of you know, Colton is blind due to Grade 4 Retinopathy of Prematurity in both eyes. We have been told that if anything at all can be done to improve (NOT FIX) his eyes, Dr. Trese is the one to see.

Well, the date has been set. We will travel to up north on January 4, 2010 and stay for 2-3 days depending on Dr. Trese's findings. First, Colton will undergo some tests to determine if the portion of retina that is still attached is even working. Then, we will discuss our options as far as surgery is concerned. Colton has some scare tissue blocking his left retina, it is possible the tissue could be removed if it is determined his retina is still working behind all that mess. At best we are hoping for improved vision, not a magical fix, this means reading large print instead of relying solely on braille or walking without assistance as opposed to using a cane. Ultimately, these small things could mean a simpler life for our boy but we know he is quite capable of adapting to life with what tiny fragment of vision he has now, he has already proven that time and time again.

I am not going into this with any hopes or dreams, if something wonderful happens, then great, praise God. If not, well, we just go on living life as we are now, perfectly happy and healthy and full of love, praise God for that too.

***On a side note, please pray for good weather, we are driving. k? Thanks.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2009-12-17T17:39:00.007-05:00

...everywhere WE go.

Wordless Wednesday - Our Furballs

2009-12-09T12:27:00.001-05:00

Dynies and Daffys

2009-12-08T16:03:00.009-05:00

For a couple of weeks now Colton has been wearing both "braces" he has for his legs. The Dynasplints (we call them Dynies) that look like this...... are worn only while sleeping. These are to slowly help extend Colton's knee so he doesn't want to always keep his legs bent (like he does now). At the moment he is wearing them at nap time but eventually, when we work up to it, he will wear them at night while he sleeps. He doesn't "love" them but they do not seem to bother him too horribly bad like I thought that might.

His Dafos (we call them Daffys)...

look like this. They are to help him with "toe walking" while he is developing his walking skills. They fit in his shoes like this.

Very discreet with long pants on.

We now have an unofficial diagnosis of mild Cerebral Palsy (CP) that affects only his motor movements so far. We will have an "official" diagnosis once he has an MRI of his brain done in January. His muscles are extremely tight and tense. Colton still receives physical therapy once a week. We are all working very hard to help him overcome all the challenges he faces. I've said it before and I'll say it again... HE IS AMAZING!

Darn Christmas Lights

2009-12-06T23:16:00.002-05:00

So, just a couple nights ago we got out all of our Christmas decorations and started to put up the tree. When Seth plugged in the lights on our 7ft. pre-lit tree, 4 branches decided not to come on. We were totally bummed, especially since we just bought the tree last year. We considered all of our options, restringing the tree with separate lights, buy a whole new tree or just ignore the 4 branches that were out. None of these choices pleased me so I decided to do a little research, what I came up with was this...The LightKeeper PRO, literally the BEST thing since sliced bread. I was pretty sceptical when I read online that it would repair most Christmas light sets but we still decided to run to our local Do It Best Hardware store and purchase this gadget for about $20. As soon as we got home with it we got to work.

The directions are simple.

1. find the lights that are not working.

2. Replace one of the non-working bulbs with the pointy end of the handy dandy gadget and pull the trigger.and Voila! you have working lights again. It's really very nifty.If you have ever thrown out a strand of Christmas lights then you have to own one of these, it pays for itself almost instantly. My grandmother had the same problem we did so Seth took it down to her house and guess what IT WORKED again! By the way it also doubles as a bulb tester. This handy dandy easy fix it tool will certainly stay in our tree box for years to come. I'll leave you with a couple pictures of our lovely tree.

The Graduate

2009-12-05T11:34:00.007-05:00

When you have a child in the NICU at UK Hospital, the experience doesn't quite end the last day of their NICU stay. For the first year you have to visit the NICU Graduate Clinic every couple months, then you have an appointment at 1 year and a final visit at two years of age. Colton had his final visit just last week.

The first time we walked into the graduate clinic, about a month after Colton left the hospital, I still had sooo many questions about his future. I remember sitting in the waiting room, eyes glued to the play area, wondering if my son would ever be well enough to play with those toys. Imagine my joy when I sat in almost the same exact spot last Wednesday staring at this...

and YES in that last picture he IS doing the baby sign for 'horse'. (I know, I know, my kid is a genius.) I just sat back with Seth, smiles plastered across both our faces, watching the miracle that is our little boy. Just when I think he can't possibly amaze me anymore, he goes and proves me wrong.

After a check up with several doctors, therapists and specialists, Colton graduated (to quote one of his former NICU nurses) "with honors". His weight held steady at 22.5 pounds. They are still slightly concerned about his length but not concerned enough to start him on growth hormones just yet.

We left the clinic with diploma in hand (it is now proudly posted on our refrigerator) and spent the rest of the morning at toys-r-us to celebrate. It was a marvelous day.

It's December Already...?

2009-12-04T22:08:00.007-05:00

Where have I been??? I started working again for the first time in Colton's life. I am substitute teaching for our local school system again. I really do love teaching and if I can ever finish college, I plan on doing it full time.

Colton had a great birthday party the Saturday before his actual birthday.We crammed 45 wonderful friends and family members into our 12oo square foot home. It was a BLAST!

He turned 2 on the 25th of November, we've been visiting all of his many Doctor's ever since for check ups. Even with all the appointments, the two-year-old version of Colton is just as happy and cute as ever.

See...

TWO!

2009-11-25T09:31:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday Colton Lee. You are an amazing little boy! I'm so incredibly proud to be your Mommy.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

172 Days

2009-11-25T09:16:00.002-05:00

Today, Colton's birthday, we finish the story of his NICU experience. It has been great to share his story in honor of Prematurity Awareness Month.

May 12, 2008
COLTON'S COMING HOME! Seth and I are spending the next two nights at UK taking care of him as if he was at home but still having the crutch of the nurses if we REALLY need them. We are staying in a private room with him and so far this morning everything is going great... Colton is sleeping just inches from me as I type. Seth had to go to work a little while ago so Nana is up here keeping us company. The oxygen and monitor people are going to meet with me in just a little while. On Wednesday we will finally have our miracle boy at home with us! I almost forgot we have even more WONDERFUL news. Colton had a hearing test yesterday and... His hearing is normal!!! Praise God for this amazing information!

May 13, 2008
Last night went very well. No problems other than the fact that Colton likes to sleep more during the day than at night. We meet with the oxygen/monitor company at 11 this morning. He is sleeping now so I am going to try and eat breakfast.
***UPDATE
This morning we had training for the home monitor and home oxygen. I hooked up the monitor after the training and it has not went off once. And as I type Colton is next to me asleep in his car seat. They put them in their car seat for the length of time it will take for us to get home tomorrow. As long as he handles it well and keeps his "numbers" in a certain range then we are good to go. The eye doctor has cleared him for discharge so nothing is holding us back, we are going home tomorrow! He has pictures at 9:30 a.m. and then we will be getting ready to head home.

May 14, 2008
After 172 days at UK Hospital's NICU, Colton Lee Darnell is finally going to get to come home today. We are still at the hospital but in just an hour or so we will be walking out the front door with our little miracle. I am so amazed and humbled by our experience here, I have grown as a person and a mother over the last several months. I am especially thankful for all of our family, friends and strangers who have diligently prayed for Colton and given us so much help during this rough time, we are forever grateful.

May 15, 2008
Colton is at home, resting peacefully. Right where he belongs.

Plans and Predictions

2009-11-24T15:00:00.001-05:00

May 7, 2008
The surgery that was scheduled for yesterday was postponed until Friday due to scheduling conflicts between the OR and Dr. Blackburn. We were all a little disappointed because we really wanted to get the last surgery out of the way but at least it didn't get pushed back to next week. I will let you all know the time as soon as I find out... which probably will not be until the morning of. In other news... We have a plan to get Colton home!!! Before I reveal this plan, I would like to say that in the past Colton has not been very good at following the plans that the NICU and I plan for him. He likes to do things his own way... wonder who he gets that from? According to the NICU staff we are going to have surgery on Friday, get off the vent on Sat, start feedings again Sat/Sun and get out of the hospital next week! The exact day will depend a lot on Colton... he'll let us know when he is ready. Lately he has been really fussy and Heather tells me he is getting older and is just ready to get out of that place. I have discovered recently that it is beneficial to "knock on wood" right after I write an update with any sort of "prediction" in it... so I am going to do that right now.

May 9, 2008
I talked to Nurse Darla late last night/early this morning and was told that the eye surgery was still scheduled for today but no time had been determined yet. I was informed that it would be in the afternoon sometime though. I will be posting updates periodically throughout the day in order for you all to know how Colton's last surgery while in the NICU (hopefully) is going.
***UPDATE: Everything went fine with surgery... Dr. Blackburn said that the eye was doing okay and that we are finished with eye surgeries for now but he will do a check up sometime next week.

May 10, 2008
Colton pulled himself off the vent yesterday and did just fine proving that he is a big boy now and doesn't need it... even right after the surgery! So we are ahead of schedule because the plan was to take him off the vent today (Sat.) and start feedings sometime today or tomorrow. Well guess what... our little piggy just couldn't wait to eat so they started his feedings back last night too. No word yet on going home but it is the weekend and the nurse this morning told me that sometimes, depending on what Doctors are there, they won't really say anything about going home until a weekday. We are getting so close... I can feel it. I have postponed picking out a "going home outfit" just so I wouldn't look at it everyday and get my hopes up but this morning I got it ready to go! Speaking of clothes, Colton is really close to fitting into his 0-3 month stuff meaning he will soon have outgrown TWO clothing sizes... Preemie and Newborn!!! To me that is AMAZING because I remember not too long nothing would fit him.

May 11, 2008
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! I hope all of my fellow Mothers have a wonderful day today. I feel so honored to be the mother of such an amazing baby boy on this special day.We have a tentative homecoming date for Colton. On Monday they will start the process of sending him home and the nurse today said on average that "process" takes approximately 3 days meaning as of right now Wednesday is the day. I have learned that NOTHING is ever certain in the NICU but still it is nice to have been told an actual day for the first time. Colton Lee is becoming a fussy little boy who is ready to get on with the rest of his life. The nurses say the extra fussiness is just him expressing his desire to go home already.

Next: 172 Days

Optimistic?

2009-11-23T11:43:00.001-05:00

April 22, 2008
They took Colton to surgery about an hour ago... Seth and I made
it here early enough to spend a little time with him before he went
down. They haven't paged me yet so I am assuming things are going
well... last time (the failed shunt attempt) they paged almost
immediately after they took him back so I am going with the no news
is good news theory.
*** Update
Colton's surgery went very well, no complications. So, Colton finally has his shunt!!! A lot of the nurses came in as he was recovering and said "FINALLY". Nurse Heather was there to take wonderful care of Colton. While we were there he woke up quite a bit, moving around his arms and head, He is still on the vent and probably will be at least until tomorrow... but they have already started feeding him, he is handling that well. The physical therapist came in to evaluate Colton last week and got to discuss the results with us this morning. For the most part she let us know that she is mainly concerned about his sight and hearing... she said he is hearing and seeing, she is just isn't sure he is doing so well. There are also a few issues with his muscle stiffness, meaning he will have a harder time doing some things compared to another child. There is a program that we automatically qualify for due to Colton's grade 4 IVH (brain bleed) so we will start that shortly after he gets home. It will help him in all aspects of his development. It continues up until age 3. We are going to make sure we do whatever we can to give Colton the best chances possible to excel development wise. I beg everyone to remember that this is an initial visit and the findings are very rough. Also remember that no matter what difficulties he faces Colton is still a wonderful perfect miracle boy. I am sure most of you already know this but I often get questions like "What if this or this is wrong with him, what are you going to do?" God has a reason for everything! Thank you all for the prayers today... they mean the world to us!

April 23, 2008
I just got off the phone with Heather and Colton is off the vent as of this morning. He has had a few spells since then, if they get worse he might have to go back on for a little while but as of right now he is off. He is also tolerating his feedings just fine but they are not yet giving them to him by bottle because he was on the vent for that time. The next step is for the eye doctor to come in and decide if he needs surgery on his other eye or not. Hopefully he will come in tomorrow but if not Heather promised me she would track him down for sure by Friday.

April 25, 2008
Today Colton is FIVE months old... he is getting so big. He weighs 7 pounds 11 ounces!!! The eye doctor finally came in to check on his eyes this morning and decided that he does need surgery on the left eye. They are shooting for next Tuesday to get this done. So far there have been no problems recovering from his operation to place the shunt (knock on wood).

April 28, 2008
Tomorrow Colton will have his second vitrectomy (eye surgery) to try and repair the effects of his Stage 4 ROP in the left eye. They do not usually give me a time for surgery until late the night before or the morning of... I will be sure to post the time as soon as I find out. I have also been given a little bit of bad news concerning the other eye. It turns out that he will have to have another surgery on that eye next week. They cannot do them at the same time because it would be too much strain on Colton's tiny body. His right eye was progressing for sometime but now has detached again. This is not a good sign for his vision but the Doctors are doing all they can to correct the problems. I know that my optimism has been questioned lately but I would like to say that I do have a very optimistic view of this whole situation and that is this... Colton has been a very sick little boy for a very long time, there are a lot of odds working against him as far as him developing like a "full-term" baby. I have been told that preliminary studies of his vision/hearing cause some reason for concern and his muscle tone is going to make it hard for him to function as easily as other children. That is the realistic side of the situation. Now comes the optimistic part. My optimism lies in the fact that no matter what problems we face, WE CAN GET THROUGH IT! We will make it work no matter the difficulties and challenges. I know that I will do all I can to give Colton the most rewarding life possible. My optimism lies in the fact that Colton will be loved by so many people who will do all they can to help us and pray for us just like you all have. My optimism lies in God and the fact that he has a reason for everything, the fact that I can turn all my worries over to him and throw up my hands and he will take care of us, all of us. So, I ask that you continue to pray for Colton but don't emphasize the desire for Colton to have a perfectly "normal" life... what is "normal" anyway? Pray that God's will be done... because our optimism should lie in the fact that no matter what it will be done and that is a great thing.

April 29, 2008
Colton is out of surgery and everything went fine. He is already waking up and they are trying to lower his rates on the vent to get him off soon. I had a talk with Dr. Blackburn just now and he said the left eye (they one they worked on today) was in pretty bad shape, they had to remove the lens which means he will have to wear a contact to protect that eye. Even after the surgery today the Doctor feels like Colton's right eye is going to be his good eye (we won't know how good until next week). He did say that Colton will be able to see "something" out of the left eye but he will not be able to read with that eye. I am not quite sure what that means as far as overall vision but next week we will know more. He did give me some good news... He anticipates that after the surgery next week he will be finished with his eyes (surgeries) for at least 4-6 weeks, possibly for good. So, Dr. Blackburn predicts that Colton will be able to go home after this next vitrectomy. I am now going to knock on something made of thick wood!

Next: Plans

Waiting Game

2009-11-22T16:46:00.010-05:00

March 27, 2008
Colton got off the vent at around 4 this afternoon. He hasn't had any trouble since they got him off. He is being fed and handling that fine as well... they are slowly increasing his formula to get him back up to where he needs to be. We get to take his swing that Aunt Donna got him up to Lexington tomorrow... they say he is big enough for it now, I know he will love that. Seth and I got to spend some time holding him this evening... we haven't got to do that since before the last surgery so it was great! No new news concerning the shunt... the neurosurgeon wants him to be a little bigger due to his "event" last time. He weighed 5 pounds 13 ounces tonight.

March 31, 2008
Colton has officially outgrown his preemie clothes!!!!! He is now wearing newborn... I never thought I would be able to say something was too small for him but it happened. As of last night Colton weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces... he is getting sooo big! The feeding tube was removed yesterday, he is receiving all of his feedings by bottle and they are almost up to what they were before his surgery. They no longer feel the need to check his aspirate (left over food in his tummy). Yesterday Colton got to swing for the first time and boy did he love it!

April 6, 2008
Not much to say in this update. Right now Colton is just growing and resting in the NICU. He does have an infection but he is on antibiotics and that should be taking care of it. His eye surgery was postponed due to the infection... no word on when it will take place now. Everyone keeps asking when he will get to come home and my honest answer is no one really knows anymore. They keep preparing us for his homecoming and then something comes up causing him to stay in the NICU for a little bit longer. Colton keeps finding new ways to get in to trouble :) So your guess is as good as mine but hopefully he will be home soon. Keep your fingers crossed and keep praying. Colton weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces tonight.
April 16, 2008
Sorry for the lack of updates but as I said in the last post there really isn't much to say and I have been sick a lot lately. Colton weighs just under 7lbs... he is getting soooo big. Right now we are waiting on decisions to be made by the eye doctor and neurosurgeon. Colton has an eye exam Friday to determine if he needs another surgery or not and after that they will decide if he is going to get the shunt. Once these decisions are made and surgeries are finished we are home free but right now it seems we are playing a waiting game that is driving us crazy! I have had a lot of talks with the nurses telling them that I feel like Colton is never going to get to come home and they have assured me that we are soooo close. I ask that while you continue to pray for Colton also pray for us... pray that we have patience and understanding. Pray that we stay optimistic. I ask that you do this because I find myself getting discouraged a lot more often than in the beginning of this journey. I feel like Colton needs to be home with all the people who love him... I am ready to be a "hands-on" mother. Most of all I pray for strength... and I know that the best place to turn is to God and to all of you out there who have faith and have already gotten us through so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

April 17, 2008
Today, Colton is one month old (corrected). Shunt surgery is scheduled April 23rd. I pray that the surgery happens on this day and we can finally get our boy at home with us.

April 21, 2008
Colton's surgery has been moved up from Wednesday to tomorrow (Tuesday). The neurosurgeon called me this morning to let me know that his head was pretty full and they were going to need to go ahead with the surgery first thing in the morning (meaning 7:30 a.m.). I'm nervous but ready to get this step over with.

Next: Optimistic?

Splish Splash

2009-11-20T10:30:00.009-05:00

March 19, 2008
Today, for the first time, I got to give my son a bath. He doesn't like bath time very much, but it was very fun for Mommy. Also Pops and Nana got to hold Colton today, he enjoyed that much more than bath time.

March 21, 2008
Colton had his third eye surgery today. This one was a bit more intense than the other two. They actually had to go into his eye and remove "gel" that was causing his retina to detach. I just spoke with the Doctor and he said the surgery went as well as expected, he seemed optimistic about the results but it is still a wait-and-see scenario. As of last week the plan was to put off the hernia surgery until later but a few nights ago Colton stopped digesting his food because the hernias were interfering with his digestive processes. They stopped feeding him then. Because of this he needs them fixed as soon as possible so now the plan is to do the hernia surgery next Tuesday.

March 24, 2008
Colton is four months old today!!! Today Pops and I are at the hospital for Colton's hernia surgery. The nurse called me at 6:30am and let me know that his surgery would be at 7:30am so we had to rush to get up here. As I was walking down the 4th floor hallway to the NICU, I saw Colton with the Doctors heading down to the OR. I made it just in time to walk down with him. His neurosurgeon was waiting for another patient at the elevator as we got off, he saw us and said "Hey... A familiar face." Then we joked about how much time Colton has been spending in the OR lately. Right now I am waiting for an update on how the surgery is going but I will edit this update a little later and include how the surgery went. Oh and also, Thank you to Kathy and My Mom and Dad who have taken time out of there day to spend with me during Colton's 5 surgeries... it means a lot to me and Colton.

ANOTHER UPDATE... Colton's surgery went wonderfully... he is now resting back in the NICU. They are going to keep him on heavy pain medicine tonight and hope that he continues to sleep and recover. It will probably be a few days before he gets off the vent or starts eating again. I know there were a lot of people praying for Colton this morning... Thank you, it means so much to us all. I would like for everyone to pray for one more thing. Pray that all of us remain united for him during this rough time. We have to remember to do whatever is best for him!!!

Next: Waiting Game

Trembling

2009-11-19T18:57:00.009-05:00

March 11, 2008
Today has been a horrible day. This morning at 10:55 Colton was taken to the operating room for brain surgery to place his shunt. My family and I decided to go downstairs for a bite to eat and to calm my nerves. I took the pager the hospital gives you with me, in case they need you and you aren't in the waiting room. As soon as I finished eating, the pager went off, I knew something was wrong, this surgery was suppose to take at least an hour and it had only been about 10 minutes. I literally ran back upstairs to the OR waiting room. The lady at the front desk sent me to a small consult room. I sat there, alone, waiting for the doctor, horrible thoughts flashing in my head. Eventually the neurosurgeon and anesthesiologist came in the room. From where I was sitting their hands were at eye level, one set was clasped shut, the other set trembling. This was bad. The surgery had been unsuccessful, Colton had flat-lined on the table, they had to fight hard to bring him back. They suspected a reaction to the anesthesia. He is back in the NICU now, shunt less and resting on the vent. My heart is still pounding from the scare, but I'm thanking God the news wasn't worse.

March 12, 2008
Colton is doing better today. He self extubated himself this morning (he was on the vent due to his surgery attempt yesterday). He did fine after he pulled out the tube so they left him off the vent. He is doing good right now. He weighs 5 pounds 2 ounces.

March 17, 2008
As some of you may know, today, March 17, 2008, is Colton's due date. It is amazing to think that his actual age is almost 4 months old now. It has been a long hard road but things are going great and along the way we have been blessed with each and every one of you to be by our sides with tremendous amounts of love and support. We couldn't have done it without you. Colton has eye surgery this morning... I do not have an exact time but I am heading up there around 8. The eye doctor feels that his eyes are getting better and this laser surgery will be much less strenuous on him than the last one. Hopefully he will handle it well. The only thing we have heard about the shunt is that they are probably going to wait until he is much bigger before they even try again. If that is what they decide, he will go home before the surgery. No decision has been made about the hernia either. I think Colton really scared the surgeons when they were attempting to prep him for surgery last week. He is taking a bottle but not yet up to the amount of food he was before the surgery attempt... we will get there soon. Tonight his length was 16 inches and he weighed 5 pounds 7 ounces, a lot of that is fluid though so we should expect him to loose a few ounces in the next week or so. I will update you all after his eye surgery. Keep him in your prayers... they have done wonders! Happy Due Date to Colton and Happy St. Patrick's Day to the rest of you!

March 18, 2008
Colton is going to need a more serious form of eye surgery on Friday... his retina has partially detached in one eye and they need to operate to keep his chances up for semi-normal vision. The other eye is doing pretty good for now. For this surgery he will actually have to be taken down to the OR. I have not been given a time yet. He is recovering well from the surgery yesterday. He did not have to be put on the ventilator during the surgery so that says a lot for his lungs. Other than that, things are going good. The nurse and I went over a rather large checklist last night about all the stuff I need to know before Colton can go home. As far as I know the plan is to get his eye surgery taken care of on Monday and then get him ready to go home the next week. That is if they decide to put his shunt and hernia surgery off until he gets bigger which is the plan right now. He would go home and have to come back to the PICU at about 6 months corrected age. Now that Colton's due date has passed I should explain what corrected age is... this is the age he would be had he been born on his due date... this age gives you a better idea of where these preemies should be developmentally. For example Colton's corrected age now is 1 day old. His actual age is called just that, his actual age is almost 4 months now. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Next: Splish Splash

Miracle Grow

2009-11-18T16:44:00.007-05:00

February 27, 2008
Colton weighed 1740 grams last night which is 3 pounds 13 ounces!!! Woohoo! He is 15 3/4 inches long. His heart rate drops have decreased but they are still there... when the Doctors rounded this morning they just said it was normal Colton stuff. When they tapped his reservoir on Saturday the spinal fluid came back positive for strep A so they put Colton on penicillin. So far nothing else has came back positive so that is good news... they think maybe it was from skin contact so no biggie!

February 28, 2008
Colton is doing pretty good right now. Only one heart rate drop while I was there this evening after class. The big news is that he weighed 1880 grams or 4 pounds 2 ounces... Go Colton!!! He can finally wear most of his preemie clothes... they are still a little big but not much. I also fed Colton 5 ml. by bottle tonight, he took it very well but tired easily so we decided to stop but he is improving! We take our infant CPR classes on March 14th :) We're definitely heading towards the finish line!

March 3, 2008
Last night Mr. Colton weighed 2000 grams or 4 pounds 6 ounces. All of the sudden he has decided its time to grow grow grow! He has had only a few heart rate drops this weekend and for the most part he has brought it back up on his own without any assistance from the Nurses. Nurse Heather is back today, Colton's primary, so I know he is happy about that. So are Seth and I! They are talking brain surgery to place his shunt as I type. We are probably looking at sometime this week or next depending on openings in the OR. They will have to put him back on the ventilator for the surgery because of the general anesthetic but the sooner they do the surgery the sooner we will get passed it.

March 4, 2008
The plan is for Colton to have shunt surgery next Tuesday, March 11, 2008. about it. A shunt is a tiny tube that is placed into one of the two larger ventricles. It attaches to another longer piece of tubing. This connection is behind the ear, under the skin. The longer tubing continues under the skin, down the neck and chest to the baby's abdomen where the fluid can be absorbed. I'm very nervous about this surgery but I know God is always watching out for my little boy.

Next: Trembling

Proud and Peachy

2009-11-17T13:41:00.004-05:00

February 10, 2008
I am sick with the flu and having to stay out of the NICU for a couple days, I miss my boy so much. Luckily, Seth has been able to visit him and bring me back updates regularly. I also get to call the nurses pretty much anytime during the day, they let me know exactly he is doing. Colton is doing fine, the infection is under control.

February 14, 2008
The doctors have told us that Colton has something called Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP). This means that the blood vessels in his eyes are growing a little different then they should because of his early birth. ROP is very common in preemies and often corrects itself without medical intervention, we are hoping that is the case with Colton. He will get visits from the opthamologist once a week to check the status of his ROP.

February 20, 2008
Today everything is just peachy! Colton was fed by mouth for the first time and he did wonderful! He sucked the bottle like a pro, guess all the practice on the paci paid off. I tried to give him another bottle last night, he must have been tired because he did not do nearly as well the second time. He now weighs in at 3 pounds, 7 ounces, I am so proud of him!

February 22, 2008
This afternoon Colton's eye doctor called us and let us know that his ROP had went from a stage 1 to a stage 3. This meant he needed to have laser surgery on his eyes asap. So, Nana and I are sitting out in the hallway at UK while Colton is in eye surgery... they took him in about 5pm and we haven't heard anything yet. The doctor seemed confident that this would decrease his chances of vision lose. Before the surgery he had a 50-60% chance of vision loss after the surgery it decreases to 20-30%.

February 24, 2008
Colton is having a little trouble recovering from his eye surgery. He had to be placed back on the ventilator about 2 hours after the surgery and is still on medium settings. He continues to drop his heart rate and is having a lot of trouble waking all the way up and bouncing back from the big event.

February 25, 2008
Our little miracle is THREE MONTHS OLD today and guess what... after worrying us all to death, he has finally recovered from his surgery (for the most part). He got off the ventilator today and is now back on the nasal cannula. Woohoo! This evening he was kicking and squirming just like he was before the surgery... I am really excited because for three whole days I didn't even see him open his eyes (he did a few times when I wasn't around the nurses said) but still it was a little scary. He's getting big too, weighing in at 3 pounds, 10 ounces, I am bursting with pride!
Next: Miracle Grow